Audrey snippets

Oh, Audrey. Our quintessential middle child. Basically every stereotype I’ve ever heard about middle children is true for Audrey so far. She sucks up all the attention in any room she enters, with her crazy hair and her giant blue eyes and her still-slightly-chubby cheeks, all in an apparent effort not to be overlooked. And her attitude? Oh my. As easy as Maggie was at age two-going-on-three (and she was an honest to goodness delight all through age two! Seriously!), Audrey is… a DELIGHT, if you get my drift. heh. She is stubborn and defiant and affectionate and smart and some days she’s just a HUGE pain in the ass. But oh my goodness, I love her.

She's growing up SO FAST it hurts.

Her laugh is ridiculous and her sense of humor and the things she says… she gets to stay, even with all the tantruming and giggling right at us when we tell her to please stop painting the kitchen table with hummus, thanks.

She’s obsessed with boobs. I’m guessing it has soooomething to do with me breastfeeding her baby brother a million times a day for the past 3 months. She asks Dan all the time: “Daddy, you have boobs? You have nip-ools?” If Zach is crying, she’ll say “Baby Zachy cwying. He needs to eat some boobs!” She drew this picture, and when I asked her if she drew the eyes on her, she said “No! Dose her boobs!”

"Did you draw those eyes on her?" "No! Dose are boobs!" OMG THIS KID.

We went to a carnival a few weeks ago. Crowded, people everywhere, and all she wanted to do was GO. “Nother ride! Go nother ride!” It was insane keeping track of Maggie AND Audrey AND push the stroller with Zach in it. I kept trying to get Audrey to hold my hand and she was annoyed. Eventually she let go, clasped her hands in front of her belly and said “I hold my OWN hand!”

At dinner one night, Dan and Maggie and I were having a semi-serious conversation about something (I can’t remember what- the weather or something kind of advanced that Maggie had asked about and we were trying to explain in an honest, scientific, but understandable to a six-year-old way?) All of a sudden, Audrey blurts out “I HAVE CARROTS IN MY BUTT!”

A few hours later, Dan took her diaper off for her bath and found this.

Audrey was not joking about putting carrots in her butt.

So. She wasn’t lying, apparently.

She is just past 36 inches tall, which means at amusement parks this year, she is tall enough for a whole new batch of Big People Rides. All of them are rides that her big sister Maggie will NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT RIDING, ARE YOU NUTS? So Audrey was my riding buddy last week at Idlewild and the week before at a local carnival. At the carnival, she said she wanted to go on the giant slide with me, but I had my doubts as to whether she’d still want to do it after we climbed to the top. But of course, she squealed with delight the whole way down and immediately asked to ride again with Dan.

Maggie refused. Audrey squealed with delight & went again.

I love that she’s a nut.

Two Year Old Logic: if we’re filling up the water table and you have your bathing suit on, CLEARLY that means we’re going to the beach RIGHT THIS SECOND! And when you’re told otherwise, it’s appropriate to have an absolute FIT in order to express your disappointment. (Not that Audrey would EVER do this. Ever.)

She still has a pacifier fetish (we’re working on it, but honestly I have a newborn baby who wakes at night so if I can get my 2 year old to sleep without issue and all it requires is a small, plastic thing for her to suck on? SOLD.) We’ve gotten to the point where she no longer needs eleven hundred of them in her bed with her (just one, maaaaaybe two) and she knows she’s not allowed to have them when it’s not naptime or bedtime. But one day she was having a meltdown over something (too windy outside? her hair hurt? her eyes were too blue? WHO REALLY KNOWS.) and she said “I need my binkie!” No, honey, you don’t. It’s not naptime. “I need my binkie for cwying!!!!”

Last week at Idlewild while we were on the paratrooper ride, waiting for it to start, I told her how much fun I was having riding the big rides with her. She looked at me and said “You da best mommy.” Then I melted.

Wheeeee on the balloon ride


  1. Jesabes

    July 1, 2013 10:00 am

    Paul acts very ‘middle child’ too, even though we only have two kids. Maybe he’s trying to tell us something?

  2. Dave (ScrumpyDaddy)

    July 1, 2013 10:00 am

    Happy tear! What a great way to end this post! She is precious! I LOVE “snippets” posts!

  3. K

    July 2, 2013 1:54 pm

    I love Audrey so, so much. Her being a pistol totally endears her to me.

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