Audrey snippets

It’s been way too long since I’ve cataloged some of the ridiculous things Audrey says and does. This KID, you guys. I swear, 4 months ago, she was barely speaking more than 4 or 5 words and now, I’m having full conversations with her. And the stuff she comes up with makes me LAUGH sometimes and man, I just FORGOT how awesome this age is. Two is hard for a variety of reasons (TANTRUMS AND STUBBORNNESS OMG!) but the Toddler-Speak more than makes up for it.

Not only is she talking like a kid now, but she’s ACTING like one. She can be helpful and cooperative when she wants to be, and she can also be a royal pain in the behind if she decides she has a better idea than what we want her to do. All part of the Two Year Old Package, of course. It’s exhausting and highly entertaining. We have definitely crossed the line between Baby and Kid with her… which, as much as it pains me to realize, is probably a good thing considering there will be a real, ACTUAL baby arriving in just a few months! EEEP.


We were at Kohls, headed to the checkout line. We hurried past a line of mannequins (the kind that are just torsos and legs) and she was pointing with a concerned look on her face. “Where head go, Mommy?” Then it hit me just how FREAKY those headless mannequins are.


While we were waiting for Maggie’s bus one morning, Audrey was fussing about wanting to watch Elmo. I told her once the bus came, we’d go back home and she could watch Elmo while I made my grocery list. I didn’t really think she understood, but she quieted down so whatever. We got home, and she immediately went to find the remote, brought it to me, and said, “Mommy make list.” OKAY THEN!


She calls Strawberry Shortcake “Strawberry Cork Cake” and if anyone ever corrects her, Dan and I will BOTH HUNT YOU DOWN.


Shortly after Halloween, we had a dinner where Maggie ate everything- veggies included!- and Audrey did not. So, Maggie got to pick something from the candy bowl, and Audrey… did not. To say she was displeased is an understatement. But I stuck to my guns (YAY! ALSO: SO HARD OMG.) and after a few minutes of me explaining WHY she wasn’t allowed to pick a treat, she quieted down. We settled into the living room for some tv watching while we waited for Dan to get home. Suddenly, I realized she wasn’t around anymore… and I had a PRETTY good idea where she was. Sure enough, I heard the sound of a dining room chair sliding slooooooowly across the floor into the pantry where the bucket of candy was sitting on the counter. By the time I got there, she was up on the chair with her hand deep in the bucket. And she grinned at me.

(She still did not get a piece of candy.)


Anytime someone says the word “nap” or “sleep” or says “Audrey, do you want to go read a book?”, she immediately replies, “NO! I’m awaaaake!” (It’s particularly funny if she says this while rubbing her eyes and/or sobbing.)


Last week in the car, she said, “Mommy, I cold! I cold!” so I reached back and gave her the coat from the floor. She snuggled under it and said “Feels GOOD.”


Anytime she sees Santa Claus, Christmas trees, Christmas lights… basically anything Christmas related, she says, “I SAW KIM-PAS!”

(Again: correct her and you’ll pay.)


When we’re grocery shopping, she basically wants to hold and/or open everything I put into the cart. I told her we have to wait until we get home, and we have to pay for it first. So now she looks at me and says, “Open it? Pay foy-it first! *nods*”


If she sees something in a miniature version of its normal self (example: a mini ketchup bottle at a restaurant), she says, “Yook! A baby one!”


Look! A baby one! (not so much a baby anymore, I guess… SIGH.)

"BYE!" "Where are you going?" "Go see Grammie and PapPap!"


  1. Laura Diniwilk

    December 4, 2012 3:43 pm

    I always wonder if my coworkers get annoyed when I tell them cute things Adriana says, but then I read one of your snippets post and I think it’s just as adorable and hilarious as if it came from my own kid. Also, the bangs on your girls slay me.

  2. Hillary

    December 4, 2012 3:48 pm

    I really love 2 for exactly the reasons you list. It’s such a great age.

  3. Erica

    December 4, 2012 3:48 pm

    Wow.. You are strong. I open everything in the grocery store.

  4. K

    December 4, 2012 3:58 pm

    Are those unicorn/pony pants she’s wearing?!

    I love them.

  5. Mel

    December 4, 2012 4:41 pm

    I love babies, but this age is what I look forward to the most. I can’t WAIT until my kid starts talking to me like this. Awesome.

  6. Andrea

    December 4, 2012 11:18 pm

    Love!!! ;) I’ve always said Age Two is awesome. (Now that I know what Age Three holds, I cherish Two even more!)

    Also, my MOM calls small versions of items “baby ___”

  7. Michelle

    December 5, 2012 11:33 am

    So, so adorable. I love the “let me woo you with my cute smile when I know I’m doing something I shouldn’t be.”

    Maddie does this thing where she knows she’s not supposed to do something and she says to herself, “Don’t do it. Don’t do it!” Right before she does it. And then laughs.

    • Jen

      December 5, 2012 3:56 pm

      Yup, that’s exactly what she does, with the woo-ing and little shit-eating grin, as Dan calls it. ha

      And that’s HILARIOUS that she chants that… THEY KNOW THE RULES. THEY JUST CHOOSE TO IGNORE. Because they know they’re cute enough to get away with it (most of the time! heh)

  8. Elsha

    December 6, 2012 12:57 am

    I love it! Especially “kim-pas.” I wish my kids said that. Will totally does the “I not tired!!” *Sob*Sob*Sob* when anything remotely close to bedtime is mentioned.

  9. Dave (Scrumpy Daddy)

    December 18, 2012 12:17 pm

    Oh, so adorable, Jen! I love all the Snippets posts! They are all great, but my favorites are “Open it? Pay foy-it first! *nods*” (I love when they know the “standard answer” and have the whole conversation themselves, knowing what you would say!), “I SAW KIM-PAS!”, and “Feels GOOD.” – I can imagine my Zach doing that, snuggling down with the raised shoulders or tucked-in head/chin.

    Such a great age!

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