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in which Mommy is Too Pregnant To Be Any Fun Anymore

Today was a rough day for me. I woke up with an aching back and a sore groin/leg and just generally feeling every moment of my 30 weeks of pregnancy (that’s right: THIRTY. Already. And also: THIRTY. THAT’S IT. STILL TEN MORE FREAKING WEEKS, OMG.)

Maggie and I had a rather nice breakfast on the deck while Dan slept in for a bit. But after that, I think she has decided that I’m Boring and Old and she’s kind of annoyed at me.

She doesn’t completely understand why I need to rest on the couch so much these days. Why I can’t play games with her on the floor like she wants (we tried playing Hungry Hungry Hippo on the couch but it wasn’t completely level so the marbles rolled all to one side and OMG THAT WAS A PROBLEM, PEOPLE.) And because I’m tired and sore, my tolerance for Three Year Old Tantrums is like ZERO so I’m finding myself yelling a lot more than I usually do.

And when your kid looks at you with big tears rolling down her cheeks and sobs, “Don’t yell in my face!”, it breaks your heart. And makes you feel like a giant ball of Fail. (even if she totally needed yelled at because KID, I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU PUT THAT DVD IN, FOR GOODNESS SAKE.)

So I hug her and she forgives me and I explain that Mommy won’t always be so tired (DON’T TELL HER I’M LYING, PLEASE.) and someday I’ll have a lap again and we can snuggle on the couch and watch Finding Nemo the way she wants to, not the way I need to lay specifically so that my legs are elevated and my hips are comfortable and I’m propped up on pillows the right way so my back doesn’t start to ache (and even after I find that magical, special position, like 5 minutes later I have to shift because something is falling asleep or hurting.)

But I also keep reminding myself that it will be different then. Sure, I’ll have my body back under my control and (most of) my energy back. But we’ll also have another human being in this house- a new baby girl, yet unnamed, the one who is already making Mommy oh-so-tired. And Maggie will have to share that lap of mine.

swinging

I just hope she’s okay with that. Because I’m still adjusting to the idea.

12 Comments

  1. This post reminded me so much of when I was expecting my second. A night or two before he was born, I just broke down, weeping over the idea that it wouldn’t be just the two of us anymore. (I tell you this in case you are worrying at all about what you are feeling — totally normal!)

    I also remember how sweet and kind my older son was to his younger brother, and how only one time did he say, “Put Henry on the bed!” as his way of reminding me that he needed attention, too.

    Now, my baby is turning 8 this week, and while they need me for snack money and to cheer them on, their independence is hard for me to take, too. I guess that’s why they call this a journey. (But I will say that it gets so, so, so much easier … and in my opinion, more fun… at least that has been my experience.)

    Jul 18 9:17 pm


  2. Melissa
    @sempremelissa

    I’ve been there–it’s SO much harder being pregnant when you have another kid. Between working 2-3 days/week (which entails walking around most of those 7 hours) until 38 weeks and trying to be as active as possible with Oliver until the very end, it’s no wonder Andrew was so low and ready to arrive a couple days early! lol. Personally, I prefer New Baby Exhaustion to Pregnancy Exhaustion, hands down!

    I remember how excited Oliver was, after Andrew was born and we were all taking a walk one day, and he said excitedly, “Andrew’s not in your tummy anymore, so you can run with me!” It felt so good to run all the way home with him, and we were both laughing. That is to say: there will be many, many moments that make up for the times you couldn’t do what you wanted to do.

    *hugs* Hang in there. She’ll be here before you know it, and you’ll all figure things out just fine. :)

    Jul 18 9:22 pm


  3. You are such a fabulous writer. And I remember 30weeks seeming so far away for 40. I felt your pain.

    Jul 18 9:45 pm


  4. This is so foreign to me, because Andrew couldn’t usually care less what I’m doing. He never snuggles, rarely asks me to do anything with him. I’m so just plain unneeded most of the time, that I can’t imagine it being a problem in my house. Which is a little bit (really) sad, because I’m envisioning my husband’s family a bit here. Needy-child was #2 and #1 (Kyle) got pretty much left in the dust for all eternity. How to stay connected with a very independent and unattached-to-mommy kid? Gosh, so many thoughts. :)
    Maggie will so love having a sister. Maybe not right away but eventually for sure. You know all about it, right! ;)

    Jul 18 9:49 pm


  5. Andrea
    @ajh_rigs

    I feel ya… I swear we spent all last summer in the a/c house with me just laying on the couch. I think that’s when B started watching Sesame Street… :) I had a breakdown too, when I thought about how it won’t ever be just B and me again… But, I also feel for Spenc because he might NEVER get just him-and-Mommy time. If we have more kids before B goes to school, he’ll never get that. Poor guy.

    Jul 18 10:17 pm


  6. I feel you! Whenever I had moments of doubt about having a second child I would look out and see our next door neighbors kid – who is an only child – playing alone in front of our house. THAT is why you have a second child. It’s worth it, be strong mama!

    Jul 18 11:06 pm


  7. Sunshine
    @littlemisssun

    On the other side…with my second now just celebrating her third birthday, I can tell you that having two is often fabulous. Yes, they bicker and have their ‘mom she’s LOOKING at me’ moments…but they play together, entertain each other, cheer for each other, alaugh together, and really, really love each other (so much so that they begged me to put Sophie’s crib in Isaac’s room so neither of them had to be alone when they were sleeping).

    Those first few months are hard, but you already know that. Things will be different, but you’ll adjust and so will Maggie. She’ll love having a sister!

    Jul 19 9:43 am


  8. I’m feeling the exact same way! At 34 weeks with a 4 1/2 year old I keep asking myself if it’s okay that we’re turning his life upside down in just a few short weeks. It breaks my heart to think he’ll have to share his snuggle time with mommy. I have vowed to make sure we still get our “Mommy & Dalton” date nights.

    Jul 19 11:17 am


  9. Korinna
    @twoadults

    I remember my heart bursting when I could finally pick up Ezra again after months of a no lifting ban. It was fabulous.

    Jul 19 7:05 pm


  10. Pocklock
    @pocklock

    I’ve decided that pregnancy makes me both a shitty parent and a shitty wife. Lovely. WHO WANTS TO COME OVER??

    Jul 20 10:43 am


  11. This post is sweet. Maggie’s lucky to have such a loving Mommy. : )

    I only have one little one right now, but I can only imagine how tough it would be to take care of her if I were pregnant. Ugh. It would be ridiculous. Holding off on Baby #2 for a while over here. I want to get in some time with my Sweetums…but she’s only 9 months old so we’ve got plenty of time. I have a feeling that you’ll do fantastically at caring for and loving both of your girls enough that they’ll never feel slighted in the least. Thanks to you, Maggie is an amazing little girl already.

    Jul 20 4:18 pm


  12. red pen mama
    @redpenmamapgh

    I KNOW. I am right here with Kate, and gah! It’s so hard. While Flora is busy figuring out just how independent she can be at 5, Kate is rediscovering her need for Mommy. If her cousins are not around, she wants me with her at all times — including the middle of the night, sometimes after she has peed in her bed.

    It’s true that Maggie will be surprised by her little sister. But in time, they will be best friends (almost all the time). She will be a good big sister and proxy mom on occasion. You will see how awesome it is. It may just take a little while!

    Jul 21 11:26 am