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MINE-ITIS

I’m not a very territorial person. It probably comes from growing up living in a trailer, where my sister and I shared a room the size of a closet for 15+ years. And where our washer and dryer were in the teeny-tiny bathroom so Mom would switch laundry while we were in the shower because that was just what needed to be done. And we all shared the bathroom sink at the same time and we really just on top of each other constantly.

It didn’t bother me, because that’s just how it was. You know?

So when Dan and I got married, I was okay with sharing my toothpaste, is what I’m saying. I don’t freak out if someone uses my hairbrush. I only get mildly annoyed if Dan drinks from my water glass (aside from the fact that HE DRANK ALL MY WATER AND I’M THIRSTY, YOU’D BETTER BE FILLING THAT BACK UP, MISTER.) I’m okay with Maggie stealing my shoes from my closet and strewing them all over my bedroom.

However.

I am NOT OKAY with what Dan did to violate my good eyebrow tweezers.

It’s nothing perverted, don’t worry- but OH EM GEE it’s disgusting. And I’ve repeatedly asked him not to do it. But he did it anyway.

He picked his toenails with them.

I KNOW.

They are MINE. MY TWEEZERS. MIIIINE. I even put an older pair of them in his bathroom drawer so he could use those for whatever gross Boy Grooming Task he needed to do.

The day I realized he was still using my tweezers, we were talking in the bathroom and he wandered over to my drawer, got them out, sat down and started digging. I was so horrified I couldn’t even speak- I just said ‘UH UH UH UH UH!’ much like I do when OUR THREE YEAR OLD is doing something she shouldn’t and I’m trying to get her attention.

He thought that was pretty hilarious.

Not only is this particular behavior gross, but it ruined my tweezers! Even after sterilizing them with rubbing alcohol after I found out he had used them AGAIN for that disgusting task, they were completely dull. Previously they would grip those little tiny annoying almost-grown-in, just barely-through-the-skin eyebrow hairs and I could pull them out with minimal pain and high precision. But NOW? Five minutes of struggling and fighting and all I end up with is a red brow-bone and that stupid little hair is still in there.

So I bought some new tweezers. Nice, sharp, CLEAN. To my knowledge, they have never touched a human foot. And I informed him if he EVER used them again for ANYTHING, I would use them to pull hairs from a not-nice-place on his body. OH YES I DID.

He giggled his little ‘Oh I’ve really made her mad now!’ giggle, enjoying it thoroughly.

So what are you territorial about?

15 Comments

  1. samantha jo campen
    @samanthajcampen

    OH HELLS NO.

    NO NO NO NO NO. NO! I know exactly what you speak of when it comes to having the perfectly sharpened tweezer, and how they are KEY in gripping those little mo’ fo’s. BAD DAN! BAD!

    I’m territorial about (and remember, I’m an only child) my good body products. Bryan can go to town on them and it drives me batty. I also don’t like it when he eats more than his half of treats we’re splitting. I will stab him with a fork. In face, I have. Don’t mess with me and food.

    Jul 14 10:00 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      He has clearly never had to pluck his eyebrows, so he had NO idea why I was so upset (other than the fact that OMG GROSS!!!!!)

      Jul 14 10:12 pm


  2. Too funny, but on this note, where did you get your tweezers and what kind are they? I have a metal pair that is approximately 20 years old? Or something. I didn’t buy them, and who knows where they came from.

    I asked my husband what I’m territorial about, and he said my side of the bed (true) and my computer desk (also true), but then he said “your time.” Which is pretty much the most amazingly accurate answer to that question about me that could possibly exist.

    Jul 14 10:05 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      I don’t even know what the ones he ruined were, but the new ones I got are Revlon ones from Target. Nothing fancy, but they’re nice and work great!

      Jul 14 10:13 pm


  3. Okay, I totally cracked up because my husband has done the same thing! I caught him using my good, expensive tweezers for his toes and I freaked out. I immediately gave him my old ones and asked him to please, please sterilize it. He did, haha. He hasn’t used them since, I think I scared him! Why are boys so gross? :)

    Jul 14 10:29 pm


  4. This is cracking me up and totally the kind of thing my hubby would do! It’s so good to know I’m not the only one out there who gets like this sometimes! :)

    Jul 14 10:51 pm


  5. Mel
    @overdramaticmel

    NO NO NO NO. I was about to say….eh, so he used your tweezers, so what!? Then you said TOES and I didn’t have to read further. I dislike feet!

    Jul 14 11:12 pm


  6. Nichole

    Gross! It not as bad but still gross bill has used my tweezers to get a hair ball out of the drain!!!!!
    I will have to think about what my thing is………hummmm

    Jul 14 11:13 pm


  7. C @ Kid Things
    @kidthingsnet

    OK, I really dislike feet, but that’s just gross. And now I don’t even want to know what my husband does with ours.

    Jul 15 12:09 am


  8. GROSS!!! I thought it was bad that my husband uses mine to pull ingrow hairs from his face. TOES?! Ewwwwwww. So obviously I’m also territorial about my tweezers. I got the best pair ever from Sally’s Beauty Supply. And they’re pink. That still doesn’t stop hubs from using them. Even though he has at LEAST three pairs of his “own” in the bathroom. ??? Men.
    I’m also territorial about my drinks. I don’t like to share them…no matter what it is. I’m sure there are plenty of others, I’m just not going to ask him what they are! ha

    Jul 15 1:14 am


  9. Ewwwwwwww! I’ll never be able to look at him the same. The horror! (I’m totally serious, btw. EW EW EW EW EW!)

    I went the opposite way with the Stuff Thing. Since I didn’t have Things growing up, now I’m all MINE MINE MINE DON’T TOUCH IT with pretty much everything I value.

    Jul 15 9:28 am


  10. Judi

    My M&Ms

    Jul 15 7:44 pm


  11. Melissa
    @sempremelissa

    My husband borrowed my tweezers a couple times in the past to remove a splinter in his hand, but that is all. And of course I cleaned them with alcohol afterward (I’m a stickler about constantly cleaning them). But toes? Are GROSS. Thankfully George is on the same page with me about feet, because there is no amount of alcohol that could bring toe-pickin’ tweezers near my eyebrows again!! I think your threat about the new tweezers is totally justified, lol.

    If I’m territorial about anything, it would have to be about my food/snacks. I have to eat low-carb/sugar-free stuff, so I get seriously pissed if George gets into stuff I make/buy for myself to eat while he and Oliver are eating pasta or potatoes or pizza (*cry*). It’s punishment enough that I have to eat this way forever, so I do NOT feel like I am obligated to share with someone who is capable of eating the other hundred yummy things in the house without gaining any weight. :P

    Jul 15 9:27 pm


  12. sparkyd

    I just wanted to say that this totally cracked me up. Boys are gross.

    Jul 15 10:22 pm


  13. Korinna
    @twoadults

    When you got to the part about the, uh, toes–I totally gasped and threw my hands over my mouth.

    So, so, yucky.

    Doesn’t he know that tweezers go NEAR YOUR EYES!

    Jul 17 11:36 am