an ode to The Man

When Dan and I got married (nearly 8 years ago!), I knew he was a Good Guy. He’s friendly, smart, laid back, and the only tears he’s ever forced me to shed have been because I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe. He loves me. He’s always been supportive of everything I’ve wanted to do- when I wanted to quit my job to focus on my business, he was right there with me, celebrating and cheering me on. I only hope he has felt the same love and support from me along the way.

It’s easy to love a spouse when it’s just the two of you. But things change when you have a kid. Instead of being two individuals who happen to be together, suddenly you are On A Team. For everything from late-night feedings to toddler discipline, you have to be on the same side or things can get ugly quick. Lucky for me, since Day 1, Dan has been an amazing dad- which makes him an even more amazing husband.

But now that I’m pregnant again, I’m realizing even more just how incredible he is. I’ve been sick the past week- pregnancy sick- and it’s kicking my butt. It’s not nearly as bad as some people get- THANK GOODNESS- but it’s enough that it’s making daily life a little rough for me. I hate hate hate not being able to do what I want because I don’t have the energy. I’m absolutely craving sleep. Nothing sounds good to eat so I keep skipping making anything decent for dinner and we just scrape together leftovers or whatever from the fridge. I go through phases of complete exhaustion and intense nausea where all I want to do is lay on the couch and moan, followed by a burst of energy and LET’S GET SOMETHING ACCOMPLISHED, OMG. (unfortunately the energy burst is a lot shorter than the first phase, usually.)

And he’s just rolling with it. He’s taking care of Maggie, taking care of me, getting me water and Tums and pretzels when I ask for them. We all three spent the day at home today- him working, me trying to work and take care of a sick Maggie. And even while he was working, he was still taking care of us.

Then tonight, while he was cleaning up my kitchen for me, Maggie puked on the living room floor. Immediately my sensitive stomach started sending DANGER! DANGER! signals to my brain, and I looked at him in a panic. He took one look at me and rushed over to clean it up while I took Maggie upstairs to get changed. After things were, um, REMOVED FROM THE PREMISES, Maggie and I settled in on the couch while he finished cleaning up the kitchen.

My man, he is the Best. I just hope he’s willing to put up with this for 5+ more weeks. SECOND TRIMESTER, WHERE ARE YOU?


  1. Laura

    February 10, 2010 9:46 pm

    That’s awesome!!! My husband is the same way – for me not because of pregnancy, but because of dizziness/migraine – and he will take care of us on a moment’s notice when I’m not feeling good. It’s so nice to have a man like that. :)
    .-= Laura’s last blog post: the mightiest tree in the forest =-.

  2. janet

    February 10, 2010 11:04 pm

    Dan the Man – what a good guy! I can only hope my husband will be as good when the time comes. Of course I think he will, but it’s not something you necessarily think about when you’re 20 and falling in love, right?

    Feel better soon mama!

    • Jen

      February 11, 2010 7:16 am

      ha so true! Definitely not something you think about when you’re young and dating.

      I think the most important thing we did was talk about responsibilities before having Maggie. I was like, DUDE. It’s your kid too. And also- neither of us had a clue how to take care of a baby, so we were going to learn together. Neither of us would judge or criticize the other for how they did something (because believe me, I’ve seen that in action with some moms, and it is ugly and gets them stuck with doing everything while the dad sulks over in the corner by the tv. Um. WHAT?) Some might say I’m spoiled, but I say I’m lucky :)

  3. Jenn

    February 10, 2010 11:15 pm

    The first trimester is definitely the roughest, as you know. It’s awesome that your Dan cleans up vomit for you. Mine does as well. The trade-off is that I clean up poop. Haha.
    .-= Jenn’s last blog post: Not a hypochondriac =-.

    • Jen

      February 11, 2010 7:18 am

      I’d take that trade-off in a heartbeat. Poop doesn’t bother me. But puke? argh. Though as long as I’m not sick, I’ve been able to deal with it better than I had hoped. I was scared of puke before having kids! hah

  4. Dave

    February 11, 2010 8:50 am

    Dan is definitely The Man. Rock on, Dan!

    And Jen, I’m glad you have someone that is as helpful and supportive as Dan. I’ve seen some very bad relationships in recent years, and some of them have fallen apart, just because the husband in the relationship wouldn’t be a real man and help out around the house, or with really raising the kids, or being supportive of the wife at all, even during “special” times, or emergency times, etc.

    Rachel and I try to rock as a team in everything we do, too. Yeah, we have a few things we would nit pick, but that’s all it would be; we both try to take care of things, knowing that we both work, that the kids are from both of us, and that we are in all this together. There’s no other way to do it. Why else get married, if you aren’t going to be a team together?
    .-= Dave’s last blog post: Zach 7 months =-.

  5. Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks

    February 11, 2010 8:56 am

    Thanks for the free birth control.

    .-= Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks’s last blog post: Replay =-.

  6. Caity

    February 11, 2010 9:00 am

    Oh goodness, that is so sweet. You are so lucky to have found such a great guy. I am confident that when I have kids Josh will also answer to the call of duty (or doodie, if you will).

  7. Pocklock

    February 11, 2010 9:42 am

    I have my own Dan the Man. It must be the name because they sound like the exact same person. I swear, the shit he put up with during my first pregnancy. I would come home from commuting and working a full day and collapse on the couch. Couldn’t get up at ALL during my first tri except to pee. I was a blob. And he not only tolerated, but he cooked and cleaned and picked up all the slack. We truly are lucky, lucky people.
    .-= Pocklock’s last blog post: Unblock =-.

  8. the husband

    February 11, 2010 11:38 am

    Nice try, but i am still going to make fat jokes…

  9. red pen mama

    February 11, 2010 12:57 pm

    As my Dan is one of the worst sick people I have ever encountered (or, conversely, I SUCK as a nurse — shush) I was shocked at how awesome he was when I was terribly ill a few weeks back. He was The Man.

    He’s a great father, too, and the girls adore him. He and I differ sometimes on the child-rearing thing, but we know when and where to give into the others’ methods. Without a peep. Because those children? They sense weakness.
    .-= red pen mama’s last blog post: Lost: What Kate Does =-.

    • Jen

      February 11, 2010 1:09 pm

      oh isn’t THAT the truth??? The kids KNOW when the parents are disagreeing on something- even when they’re TWO!- and they will exploit it. Little evil turds ;) hehe

      • Dave

        February 11, 2010 1:12 pm

        Oh yes! Abby is now often running to one of us like, “Mommmmmmeeeeeeee! Daddy said NO!?” As in, “Will you override him?”

        Either that, or she’ll just out & out lie about it, saying, “Mommy said I could have one.” She’s not great at it yet, though…oftentimes, Mommy will be standing RIGHT THERE and able to say, “Um, no, I didn’t….” Ha!
        .-= Dave’s last blog post: Zach 7 months =-.

  10. Kate

    February 11, 2010 4:06 pm

    How awesome! Collin did really well during my 5-week 1st trimester hell, changed all diapers, fed the boy, kept the house clean, etc. But by the end I could tell he was totally worn out and he started threatening – this is the last one!

    Thankfully I’m not the only one that suddenly forgets that hell once it’s over – he’s talking about more future kids again. Next time around though we’ve already told my mom that we’ll be calling in reinforcements for a couple of weeks. :)
    .-= Kate’s last blog post: Toddler/Baby Updates =-.

  11. Melissa

    February 11, 2010 9:36 pm

    You and Dan really are awesome together – both on the humorous stuff in life (see: his comment above :D ) and on the “real” stuff in life. You’re lucky to share that, AND your kids are lucky to grow up with that kind of example.

    It’s always the not-so-fun stuff (like cleaning up puke!) that makes you truly appreciate your spouse. George took such good care of me and Oliver during my miscarriages and then my pregnancy with Andrew, and while it was the most difficult year of our marriage, it also showed we could survive anything together.

    Yay for all of us who found Good Guys. :)
    .-= Melissa’s last blog post: little fire, bright light =-.

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