one step forward, two steps back. into a puddle of pee.
So this whole potty training thing with toddlers is a real adventure, isn’t it?
We first introduced Maggie to the potty, like, a YEAR ago. And she peed in it. Once. Then that was it for while. I was okay with that because she wasn’t even 2 years old yet. Occasionally throughout the summer, we would ask her if she wanted to sit on the potty and if she agreed, we were happy. If she peed, we were even more happy! We’d do a potty dance, reward her with M&Ms or Smarties or whatever, and it was all great fun.
Then for a few weeks, she was totally NOT into it, so we eased up. Then she’d be cooperative with it for a week or so, then she wanted to have nothing to do with it. Then cooperative, then not so much again.
It was a cycle. A routine. I LIKE ROUTINES!
Then we decided to get Serious about it. We tried a sticker chart for prizes. FAIL. She simply says ‘Nope, I don’t want a sticker!’ and that’s that.(Question: How do you bargain with a child who is ONTO YOUR TRICKS?? Answer: YOU DON’T.)
We tried training pants. She uses them just like a diaper. The kid just does NOT care if she’s sitting in her own pee or poop all day. Even if it turns cold like the training pants say it does. We tried candy again. We tried reverse psychology (“You’re not ALLOWED to use the potty!”)
I even tried putting her in underpants one day when I knew we’d be home to deal with accidents. I told her “Come on, let’s go sit on the potty! You have to sit on the potty if you’re wearing underpants!” She stood up, took off the underwear, handed them to me and said “I wanna diaper.”
So! We’ve tried it all. Seriously. She knows the routine, she CAN go pee on the potty if she wants to (poop is another story, but I’m not too concerned with that just yet). She just simply does NOT WANT TO. (And given the fact that recently she gave up her pacifier AND her crib all in one week, I’m willing to give her a little slack on the potty training thing. I mean, the kid needs to control SOMETHING in her life, you know?)
Today was another rare time when we were going to be home all day. No errands to run, no work to do, just us hanging out in our pajamas.
And our Elmo underpants. (Well, just Maggie.) (And that was only after she pooped this morning. I’m not STUPID.)
She did great. For nearly 2 hours, she had on her underpants and had zero accidents. She even peed on the potty THREE TIMES. Hooray!
Then it was naptime, so I convinced her to let me put Princess Pants on her (Pull-ups. With princesses on them, in case that wasn’t obvious.) I told her after her nap, she could put her underpants back on because she kept them clean! and dry! She was excited. We read a book, I tucked her in, and headed downstairs.
After about 10 minutes or so, I heard her walking around her room (still working on the Staying In Bed Thing) so I went and poked my head in the door. I noticed a pink Pull-up laying by her bed, and she was standing in the middle of the floor, staring at me.
“Pull your dress up, please”, I said.
She stared at me. Didn’t move.
I asked again. “Pull your dress up.”
She slowly reached her hand down and pulled up her dress to reveal… Elmo underpants. That I had put on top of her dresser where, HEY! Apparently she can reach now!
Not only was she wearing underpants that she stole from their hiding spot until after her nap, THEY HAD PEE IN THEM. And also a huge puddle on the (wood) floor over by the window.
This potty training thing is AWESOME, you guys.
More posts like this:
- one step forward, two steps back April 7, 2009
- if I could put time in a bottle… April 22, 2010
- death of the nap? May 5, 2010
- behold, the bribery. November 14, 2010
- one point five September 23, 2008
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I should probably not tell you that, as a 7 yr old, I was still, intentionally, peeing on the floor.
What? I built a fort in my room, complete with a fridge with snacks and an old pencil box as a potty. How was I supposed to know it wasn’t the same thing?
Twitter: jayesel
- January 26th, 2010 at 6:01 pm |
That? Is fantastic.
OMG. I might pee on the floor now from laughing.
.-= red pen mama’s last blog post: Classic =-.
I’m so frustrated too! Will is Maggie’s age and she loves wearing underwear, talks through the whole process and then, just NO. She will even change from underwear to a pull up if she has to pee, and then back again. I guess since she is starting to realize she has to go before she does it’s still a good thing, right?
You have basically described my daughter. I have been covered in pee more times than I can count over the last three months. And yeah, my kid has been known to rain dance herself joyfully all over a puddle of pee. Tomorrow, I’m hitting the dollar store for craploads of cheaply made “Potty Prizes” which I will wrap and place in a basket above the toilet. If that doesn’t work, I’m giving up. For serious.
Twitter: jayesel
- January 26th, 2010 at 6:04 pm |
(OMG OMG GINNY COMMENTED ON MY BLOG! ABOUT PEE!)
I will say that I have never been peed ON (yet.) But she did leave three nice puddles on the floor today. Very glad we have hardwood.
These kids. They are TRYING to kill us. Did you have potty training troubles with your oldest?
I am about ready to give up with Kate, too. As you say, for serious.
.-= red pen mama’s last blog post: Classic =-.
I’m just going to sit on this side of the potty training train and laugh. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Four days. That’s all Alexis needed to figure it out.
We don’t talk about the year and a half before that when she drove me absofreakinglutely nuts. Mmkay?
.-= Burgh Baby’s last blog post: Only One of Us Knows How to Act Like a Mature Adult =-.
Twitter: jayesel
- January 26th, 2010 at 6:06 pm |
Since we already talked about this on Twitter, I won’t rub it in too much that my kid sleeps 11-12 hours a night and has NEVER EVER not even ONCE slept in our bed. She doesn’t even know it’s an option. (which, actually, it’s NOT.)
I have a feeling once Maggie ‘gets’ it, it’ll be easy and cold-turkey-ish. It’s just… GETTING TO THAT POINT.
I had to come back to tell you that I love that this post got picked up in the BlogHer ad. Obviously, you know how to pick a good post title. ;-)
.-= Burgh Baby’s last blog post: If Only She Would Use Her Magic Powers to Slow Time Down =-.
While that story is very funny, it’s also probably super frustrating. She’ll get it when she’s ready. It sounds like she knows EXACTLY what she’s doing, she’s just being stubborn about it. She’ll get it.
Hahaha. Poor you guys.
My husband was like 4.5 before he deemed it necessary to use the toilet, so I have no reason to believe my own kid will be an improvement. I plan on buying diapers for the next 2 years at least. I figure I’m saving my sanity to think that way now. Ha!
.-= Laura’s last blog post: flakes of joy =-.
Is it too late to just try newspaper training?
.-= bluzdude’s last blog post: Auf Wiedersehen to the Scorpions =-.
Twitter: melissity
Oh, it’s a saga, isn’t it? Just today I was trying to explain to a friend of mine who doesn’t have kids, that parents only PRETEND to have control, but it’s the kids who have the Power. “But they’re just KIDS,” he protested, to which I replied, “In a few years, when YOU are potty training a 2 or 3 year old, I’m going to remind you that you said that!”
We tried potty training for about a week when Oliver turned 2 1/2, and it just wasn’t happening. We waited and tried again a few weeks before his 3rd birthday, and it was easy as pie. No stickers or candy or prizes needed. So I guess it’s true that a child WILL do it when they’re ready and willing. They’re just stubborn sometimes. ;)
We’re still working on the pooping thing though. He did it twice a couple weeks ago, but won’t do it anymore. He will actually HOLD IT until he has a diaper on. So now we’re taking a break and waiting until he’s ready. Which I hope is soon. I’m tired of dealing with Big Boy Poopy Diapers AND Baby Poopy Diapers! ha
Anyway I’m sure Maggie will get the hang of it soon! Hang in there!
.-= Melissa’s last blog post: rules to sleep by =-.
Twitter: jayesel
- January 26th, 2010 at 7:52 pm |
And isn’t THAT the truth??!?! We have no power. They just let us THINK that we do now and then. ha
I figure all we can do is keep trying and give her some breaks now and then, and one day it will all click. I don’t know of any adults who aren’t potty trained unless they’re like 90, so it’s going to happen eventually, right? :)
Which is EXACTLY why I quit trying with my 2.5 yr. old son! My parents started the training (which was totally fine by me…I was planning to do so anyway). I don’t know if they had more luck or what, but he was by no means close to being trained after a week there. I got so tired of cleaning pee. And he didn’t have a CLUE when he was wet. One day he was standing in a huge pool of pee, completely oblivious, watching Thomas the Train. That’s when I was like “forget it!” Plus, if the kid can hold out this long on actually TALKING…there’s not a chance in you-know-where he’s going to potty train before he wants to! My daughter was done right at 2…took a whole week. *sigh*
.-= Jenn’s last blog post: Oh Jacob =-.
My doctor told me that most kids test out using the potty. Once they see that they can then they wait till they WANT to. For us two things did the trick… negative consequences for accidents (cold rinse, so mean I hated it, but only had to do it twice!) and just giving up for a while and wearing diapers until she requested the panties!
.-= the ambitious mrs’s last blog post: Recognize =-.
We’re right there with you, dancing in the puddles. Stubborn goes hand in hand with toddlerhood.
Stories like yours (and the other repeated horror stories I have heard) make me want to tell my 2.5 year old that he can wear diapers until he’s 10 if he wants. He has no interest, and frankly, I am feeling too lazy to deal with all this craziness!
.-= Lea’s last blog post: Name: As Yet Unknown =-.
After nearly a year, I shamelessly used preschool to put The Fear into mine. So far, it’s working 95% of the time. I suppose we’re in big trouble when she’s out of school next week thanks to the move.
.-= Jayna @ Yankee Drawl’s last blog post: iHeartFaces: Texture =-.
Twitter: scrumpydaddy
We waited a bit to even start working on this with Abby; she was probably 2.5-2.75 years old when we seriously started it at home. She goes to daycare 5 days a week, and they were starting to take her to the potty there every day, and she had told us a couple of her friends were in pull-ups, not diapers. She was showing the interest, so we decided it was time. We picked a completely free weekend, went out Thursday or Friday night with her and bought big-girl underwear, put her in them Saturday morning with all the necessary explanations, and started giving her LOTS to drink. By Sunday evening, she was getting it.
Now, we had a good number of accidents over the next few weeks (months?), and it took a few months to get her to use the potty for #2, but even that seemed to go easier than we expected; we visited my sister for five or six days over the summer, and I don’t if something just clicked while she was there, or if she got embarrassed at having to get cleaned up while there, but when we came back from that trip, she used the potty full time without fail. I think she’s had three accidents TOTAL since then, which is now almost six months ago.
And we’re with you on the bed thing, too; she sleeps in her own bed. Ours is not an option. (Minus the morning cuddles on weekends when she roams into our room, and things like that.)
Alas, I know that went all too easily for us – we have BOY now. I’m sure that just to give us the opposite end of the karma pendulum, he will be even more stubborn than boys usually are…but I hope not.
Sorry for writing an entire blog post in your comments…maybe I’ll take the majority of this and turn it into a blog post sometime!
.-= Dave’s last blog post: Abby =-.
I learned my lesson with Charlotte. She wanted no part of anyone telling her how to do it or when. After months of trying, I gave up. A week later, she said “No more diapies! I big girl!” and from that moment on, NOT ONE ACCIDENT. Not even at night. Unless she was sick or had a bad dream.
Now, with the 18-mo boy, I have no intention of even really trying. I’ll show him the potty, explain the deal, and let him take charge. It’s not worth the gray hairs and pee puddles.
.-= AndreAnna’s last blog post: Start em young, raise em tough =-.
Twitter: jayesel
- January 27th, 2010 at 2:11 pm |
One thing I’ve learned in the past (almost) 3 years as a parent: kids do what they want, when they want. You can show them and teach them things, but getting them to actually do it is 100% up to them. HA ISN’T THAT FRUSTRATING??? :)
I’m not one to dish out parenting advice, being the non-parent and all. But, I will say that I’m very impressed with your go-with-the-flow (pun intended) attitude about potty training. I see far too many parents who want/need their children to be the first to bump to the next level. And I see all kinds of future issues related to that. Other than a few wet spots for you to clean up, my guess is your route is far less stressful, too. =)
BTW, I’m curious where you got your “Sharing is Sexy” pop-up icons for Twitter, Facebook, etc.???
.-= SoMi’s Nilsa’s last blog post: Mamas =-.
Twitter: jayesel
- January 27th, 2010 at 2:14 pm |
Honestly, we’ve tried to be that way with just about everything. Babies and kids feed off of their environment for one thing, and they KNOW when things are stressful and it only makes things worse. So really, you’re only going to drive yourself batty, and your kids batty, and everyone else in the world batty! if you act all crazy about milestones and skills and all that. (Just some advice to store away for later if/when you have kids! heh) And there is next to nothing you can do to MAKE a kid do something- especially a stubborn toddler. So you’re better off accepting that and moving on! LOL Melissa said up the list a little bit, parents really have no control. Kids have it all. Depressing… but so so true. ha
As for the Sharing is Sexy buttons, it’s a WordPress plugin called SexyBookmarks! Super easy, I love it.
Twitter: scrumpydaddy
- January 27th, 2010 at 2:31 pm |
This is our parenting style (and lifestyle), too; laid back. Easy going. Relaxed. Respectful that our kids are people with feelings and thoughts, and just take it all as it goes. I think so much in the world would be better if everyone would respect their kids as they do other adults – of course, as the parent, you have total control over their lives, and final say on everything, but if one actually listens to one’s children, and let’s them know that their thoughts on things are being heard, so much more can be done without stress & struggle.
Off the soapbox now.
You guys are doing it right, and it shows. Good luck with Maggie deciding “it’s time” sooner, rather than later. Yep-they have all the power. :-)
.-= Dave’s last blog post: Abby =-.
Good God… Potty training is the worst thing in the entire world. My 4 year old says she’s “trying”, but she’s been “trying” since her third birthday. I finally broke down this week and said…after this package of pull ups there are NO more that I can buy…the store won’t let me. Of course, she had a shit fit about that and cried for about two hours, but now she is trying to go on the potty more and considering it. Hell, I broke out the bribing. I told her I’d get her a Hannah Montana doll if she went on the potty for a week. We’re not there yet, but she’s peeing on the potty 2-3 times a day.
On the other hand, which is hilarious, my 2 year old is potty training herself. She takes her diaper off and goes to pee and poop on the potty. She wants to wear underpants too. LOL I think she sees me trying to train her sister and she just picked it up and wants to do it. Which is a great thing. However, my 4 year old starts school in September and HAS to be potty trained. Sometimes I wonder if it will EVER happen!!
.-= krissy’s last blog post: Radio Shack trade in program… =-.
Twitter: jayesel
- January 27th, 2010 at 8:16 pm |
Isn’t it crazy how each kid is so different? And how funny that your 2 year old is being inadvertently potty trained for you! ha :) Good luck!!
it will get better, I am not going to tell you “she will get it” cause she already knows what you want her to do, I will say she will do it when she is ready to give up that control….dose that make sense?? Samantha is 6 months older and she if finally at a point where she will go on her own, not all the time. We still have to remind her every once in awhile. Every kids is different and you will find her button!! We did the “3 day potty training” it was good but took way more than 3 days!! Sami’s button was little presents and now it is “you don’t get juice…ect… until you go pee”
good luck! that was my least favorite (still is) part of toddlers!! and I have another one coming up!!
Twitter: jayesel
- January 27th, 2010 at 8:18 pm |
That’s exactly what it is right now- control. We took away her pacifier, moved her from her crib (even though she WANTED to do that!) so this is like the LAST THING she has control over. We just have to go along for the ride ;) heh
Oy vey! Potty training…I have three little ones and since my kids are so friggin young, I’ve only trained one. It was a headeache. I pushed it, she resisted…We danced. I let it go, bought an AWESOME toy and put it on the fridge and told her she could have it when she really started going potty and didn’t need diapers anymore, and she decided to go for it after about three weeks of drooling over it in the kitchen. Bribery? Yes. I’m not above it.
I personally think she did it because she was ready – at a little over three, she was able to understand the whole gig a little bit better than at 2 1/2 .
Since my next one is 1) a boy and 2) almost 3, you can look forward to some interesting potty training posts in the (hopefully) near future!
.-= Natalie’s last blog post: Returning to the Vomit =-.
With our two kids we didn’t try the potty, use stickers or prizes or anything. I figured that they’d use the toilet when they were ready. DS was pushing three and a half and I was starting to think that he’d be starting Kindergarten in nappies. Then one Sunday morning he came screaming through the house at the speed of light, ripping his nappy off as he went and did the business in the loo. I figured he was ready so we started in with big boy pants. It took another six-eight months before he was reliably dry in the day time. Poop was much easier to handle.
DD was younger, more stubborn and decided than her brother. She spotted undies in the shops, was beguiled by the colours and insisted on having some. I told her that if I bought them there would be no more nappies and she’d have to use the toilet. Madam assured me she would and she did. That’s not to say that we were accident free – no indeedy do dah day we were not, but the impetus to use the toilet came from her not from me, and that makes a big difference.
I guess what I am trying to say is, they do it in their own time. I was a teacher for 17 years and not one kid EVER came to school in nappies :) Sometime between now and then, she’ll put it all together. (But I do agree…the toilet-training stage is not for the faint-hearted!)
.-= Anne’s last blog post: To memorise or not to memorise =-.
You don’t know how very hard I am working to not write a potty training post re: Kate. Oh Kate. It would be filled with too much frustration. And crying. Possibly a little screaming. (and I’m talking about me.) I am so done with diapers. Kate, not so much.
.-= red pen mama’s last blog post: Classic =-.