Twitter Updates

favortweets, round #12

notthatyouasked (blog) If we ever have another child, it will have to be a girl. Two boys in this house and I live in a perpetual fart cloud at all times. 9:09 PM Nov 21st

kirida (blog) My house was tagged today. The vandal used crayon and showed Mommy where the graffiti was. Safe to say, this was an inside job. 4:05 PM Nov 22nd

kdiddy (blog) annual exam today. it’s like christmas with stirrups! 8:24 AM Nov 23rd

ModernMatriarch (blog) How come my baby gets to hide in a corner to poop and I get to have two small children and a dog in the bathroom with me? 8:36 AM Nov 23rd

Sundry (blog) In-laws arriving in one hour. Is there an app for that? 5:48 PM Nov 24th

jonniker (blog) I think my favorite part of today’s grocery store outing was getting farted on, yes, FARTED ON, by angry lady in the baby aisle. 6:01 PM Nov 24th

ModernMatriarch (blog) Where is my mother? If I don’t get out of this house for coffee and five minutes of quiet, I am GOING TO EAT THE CHILDREN. 8:39 AM Nov 25th

Sundry (blog) How are we supposed to work today? I’m mostly thinking about pie. Well, and how to convert Neil Patrick Harris for, say, two hours. 2:30 PM Nov 25th

kerrianne (blog) Someone at work just asked me to “do him a solid” & I could not stop my mind from traveling to the restroom. (Phrase be totes ridic, yo.) 5:20 PM Nov 25th

SarcasticMomLC (blog) Sorry, guys. I refuse to shove my hand into anyone else’s ass tonight. I know you were waiting in line, but the turkey got all the action. 10:42 PM Nov 25th

BackpackingDad (blog) Looked around the apartment for my daughter, who wasn’t watching tv. “What are you doing, baby girl?” “I’m reading a book.” Rebel. 3:03 PM Nov 26th

kirida (blog) She: Do you know any new gadgets I could buy for my husband? Me: check out this thing called “The Rabbit.” 165 bucks. Google it at work! 6:55 PM Nov 26th

kirida (blog) black friday means I get to eat until I black out. 2:23 PM Nov 27th

scarletfire (blog) My cat is exhausted after his long, strenuous night of dicking around with the Christmas tree. 8:35 AM Nov 30th

CranberryPerson OMG there are tons of seats on the bus but this guy chose the one next to me and OUR ASSES ARE TOUCHING please don’t read this and stab me. 5:58 PM Nov 30th

ModernMatriarch (blog) Since my husband is getting a vasectomy tomorrow, I hereby declare today Snipmas Eve. 2:50 PM Dec 1st

BackpackingDad (blog) Next time you eat instant oatmeal hold a bite in your mouth for a while. Then try not to think of vomit. You’re welcome. 3:37 PM Dec 1st

3 Comments

  1. LZ

    I always find the funniest new people to follow from your lists! Good eye, lady!
    .-= LZ ‘s last blog post: Top Ten Thursday: Memorable TV Theme Songs =-.

    Dec 3 10:31 am


  2. It’s been a while since I’ve made your list. Now I’m going to be on a mission. Must. be. funnier.
    .-= Burgh Baby’s last blog post: I’m Not Even Sure That it IS a Bunny =-.

    Dec 3 4:52 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      It might also be because I’ve been kind of lazy with starring the good ones. I’m in such a damn hurry all the time lately, if I’m on my Blackberry I don’t usually take the time to star… then I lose some gems :(

      But yes, be more funny. Couldn’t hurt! hehe

      Dec 3 4:54 pm