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some privacy, PLEASE?

It’s widely known that Moms rarely get any privacy in the bathroom. Once you have a child- especially a walking, talking one- a quiet moment on the potty while at home with said child is a miracle.

I knew this before having a baby, but it wasn’t a very big deal at first. I mean- a 10 month old is curious and grabby, but they don’t really know WHAT they’re grabbing for and they don’t really comprehend what they’re seeing.

But a 2 and a half year old? ASKS QUESTIONS.

I’ve tried to stay relaxed about letting Maggie watch me in the bathroom. For one thing, when it’s just the two of us at home, I don’t always trust her to be alone and wandering the house for too long. So if I’m going to be in the bathroom for more than 30 seconds (I’m a quick pee-er!), I’d actually prefer her to come in with me. Plus, I think it’s good for her to see how Grown Ups do it so she can finally be done with diapers and start using the toilet herself (which- that continues to be a work in progress. One step forward, two steps back. argh.)

But even more than that, I don’t want her to be ashamed of anything that goes on In The Bathroom, you know? I mean, yeah, at a certain age we’ll start keeping things private for all parties involved, but for now, I think it’s good to keep it all very natural and easy-breezy.

However, lately because she’s getting older and more inquisitive and OMG SMART, it’s getting tricky. Especially during that Special Lady Time for Mommy.

Today I was going about my, um, Lady Business real quick so we could head outside to play before dinner. And of course Maggie had to follow me into the bathroom. I had my supplies in hand, and immediately she started with the questions.

Maggie, pointing to the item my hand: “Wuts dat?!”

Me, trying to brush it off: “It’s just a Mommy Thing.”

Maggie: “On-nee for gwown-ups?”

Me: “Yup, only for grown ups.”

Maggie, crouching down in front of me and OH MY GOSH, staring at my crotch while I did something extremely private and well… kinda gross, really: “Wuts dat? Is dat for your bum?”

Me, having NO IDEA how to respond to that: “Yes, sweetie, it’s for my bum.”

Pause.

“To take your temp-itch-ur?”

…oh geez.

So this Keeping It Real thing isn’t going so well.

22 Comments

  1. Oh sister, I’ve been there!
    .-= Jody (The Point)’s last blog post: Chicken, Steelers and Mom. =-.

    Nov 3 8:51 pm


  2. LOL I had to do that today too, only mine can’t ask me about it yet. Hoping he gets over his bathroom fascination before I have to explain anything.
    .-= Beth in SF’s last blog post: Our Halloween =-.

    Nov 3 8:56 pm


  3. So funny! I’m laughing WITH you though. Zoe is going through the same thing. When my husband is home I try to sneak away but she runs after me.

    Nov 3 9:01 pm


  4. I just had my husband read this. He laughed so hard.
    .-= Stefanie’s last blog post: Like a deployment. =-.

    Nov 3 9:10 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      I nearly fell off the toilet, I was laughing so hard. HA

      Nov 3 9:12 pm


  5. Candace
    @girlhaq

    OH MY GOSH LOLOLOL Ok I totally snorted on that one!!
    .-= Candace’s last blog post: Thanks Giving #1 =-.

    Nov 3 9:12 pm


  6. C @ Kid Things
    @kidthingsnet

    Luckily I haven’t had a period in 4 years. Maybe if I can hold off another couple of years I’ll be in the clear (no chance of that happening, though, unless I get pregnant again which HA! not gonna happen).
    .-= C @ Kid Things’s last blog post: In No Particular Order =-.

    Nov 3 9:28 pm


  7. Love it! At least she didn’t think it was a big giant bandaid for a bad booboo, if ya know what I mean. Now THAT couldve traumatized her!

    Nov 3 9:46 pm


  8. LOL This reminds me of one of those you see floating around the internet of the little boy with “napkins” stuck all over him!! LOL
    .-= Pepper’s last blog post: $2 Photo Card Designs + Contest =-.

    Nov 3 10:13 pm


  9. HAHAHA. Taking your temperature? That is gold. I love Maggie. She’s awesome.
    .-= Cassie’s last blog post: Lazy Ass =-.

    Nov 3 10:42 pm


  10. Hysterical. Also, Andrew has NEVER been in the bathroom with me. That being said, he can’t open doors yet. ;)
    .-= Laura’s last blog post: thanksgiving #3 =-.

    Nov 3 11:13 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      ha yeah we’ve learned to lock them now, if we’re both home and one of us needs to use the bathroom. She’ll barge right in! But she’s gotten into too much stuff when I’ve been occupied, so if I’m home alone with her, I just let her come in- at least I can see her then ;)

      Nov 4 9:32 am


  11. OMG! Rarely do I laugh out loud, but that is HILARIOUS!!!! You have one smart girl there.
    .-= Andrea’s last blog post: TGIF =-.

    Nov 3 11:14 pm


  12. Ashley

    You’ll enjoy this story I hope.

    I was about 3 or 4 and my mom was packing my Dad’s lunch. She usually packed one of those old V8 cans with him with a straw. Well, she had run out of straws that dad and told my dad, and I must’ve overheard the conversation. I got excited and told them not to worry – because I knew where we kept the ‘extra straws’. I came back with a tampon (it was wrapped like a straw from WaWa or McD’s!) and my mom actually packed it in his lunch and he took it to work (the police station)… LOL

    Nov 4 12:05 am


  13. I’ve been having the same issues, post baby. Lily has told me I have a “gross poopy.” That explanation is as good as any for now!
    .-= the ambitious mrs’s last blog post: April in October =-.

    Nov 4 5:24 pm


  14. Priscilla
    @pgreen730

    Oh gosh, I am laughing!! So funny!
    .-= Priscilla’s last blog post: Spicing Things Up =-.

    Nov 4 5:55 pm


  15. Mel
    @overdramaticmel

    See, to me, its these comical moments are what truly make parenthood worth it! It’s so nice to know that there is comic relief mixed into it. :)

    Lol….

    Nov 4 8:32 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      yes those are the moments that keep me going :) Thankfully, there are a lot of them!

      Nov 4 9:05 pm


  16. sparkyd

    Had to seriously stifle my laughter on this one lest I wake up the whole house. Couldn’t hold back the huge snort though. Too funny. We are very open about “bathroom business” for the same reasons you mentioned but I haven’t had to deal with that one yet thanks to getting pregnant again and it never even occurred to me. Worst I’ve had is DS1 thinking tampons are a fun toy (you know dumping them out of the box and all), which I guess they were since he went for them every time he came with me to the bathroom back in those (pre verbal) days.

    Nov 4 10:36 pm


  17. red pen mama
    @redpenmamapgh

    oh dear lord, I’m crying I’m laughing so hard. HAHAHAHAHAH. Were you cracking up or were you just like, “How did I get here again?” Because any given day, it’s a toss up.

    ciao,
    rpm

    Nov 5 4:22 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      oh I was definitely cracking up, so much that I could barely breathe. These kids, they sure know how to catch us off guard, don’t they? LOL

      Nov 5 5:02 pm