I can only imagine if she was A BOY.

My kid is falling apart.

Earlier this week, she smashed her cheek on the slide at the playground and is now sporting a nice bruise on her face. Yesterday morning, she fell face-first onto the hardwood floor and split open her top lip. Last night, she tripped on the sidewalk while pushing her toy shopping cart and scraped up her knee.

Tonight we picked her up from daycare. She was super-excited to see Daddy picking her up from school (usually it’s just me there, and I’m Old News, you know) She ran to him and squealed and he scooped her up and off we went to ChickfilA. Or, as Maggie calls it, the Chicken Nugget House. We were just finishing up placing our order, I was paying and Dan was holding Maggie on his hip. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she started SCREAMING hysterically, crying about her leg and pointing toward her right hip.

Immediately my thought is ‘BEE STING!’ (OMG you guys, the BATTLE we have had with bees this year, at BOTH HOUSES.) We sat her down on a chair and checked her legs, under the leg band of her diaper… nothing. But she was still having a fit, (AND PEOPLE WERE STARTING TO STARE, and of course in the back of my head I’m TOTALLY thinking about that guy in Georgia who slapped that kid and so help me GOD I WILL CUT YOU IF YOU TOUCH MY CHILD.) so I took her into the bathroom to do some more investigating. I laid her on the changing table and removed her diaper completely- nothing odd or foreign anywhere, and no marks on her skin. I eventually got her to calm down a bit, and I slowly moved her right leg around, asking if this hurt, does that hurt? She said ‘Yes’ through her tears but wasn’t as hysterical as she had been. Then she asked me to put her diaper back on (still bossy in a crisis, I see!)

I got her put back together and dressed and stood her on the floor. She tried to take a step and her whole right leg buckled under her. Then again. And my heart just about jumped out of my throat.

We bagged up our food and headed to the urgent care center just down the road. On the way, I sat in the back and Maggie at a chicken nugget and was happily chatting away by the time we arrived. But she still refused to stand up on her leg, so in we went.

Those of you who have sick or injured children on a regular basis? I DO NOT KNOW HOW YOU DEAL. We have been incredibly fortunate with Maggie. In 2 1/2 years, this is only the 2nd emergency trip to any kind of clinic or hospital we’ve had to make. And really, this wasn’t so much an emergency as a ‘It’s after 6pm on a Friday, CRAP what’s open?’ kind of thing. And I was still a wreck. I haaaated seeing my kid in pain and scared and crying like that, and me in my head imagining all these horrible things it could be. Cancer! Broken leg! A growth problem! Swine Flu! (hey, YOU NEVER KNOW.)

Never thought I’d say this, but I’d take Tantrum Screaming over that crying IN A HEARTBEAT.

The entire process at the clinic was great. Quick paperwork, 10 minutes in the waiting room, 5 minutes in the exam room waiting for the doctor, whisked us over to x-ray room, and doctor back in with the verdict a few minutes after that. And Maggie was a champ. She kept talking about the ‘big camera’ that took a picture of her leg, even though I could tell by her eyes that she was TOTALLY FREAKING OUT while she was on the table, she only barely whimpered a few times ‘I want to go home to my houuuuse!’ She even took her liquid ibuprofen like a champ, complete with ‘mm mmm mmmm!’ sounds.

My kid is a rock star.

While we were waiting for the doctor to come in, she was willing to stand and walk around, so that was a relief to see (even though THEY HAD ALREADY CHARGED MY CREDIT CARD FOR THE COPAY, thanks kid!) (I’m kidding, really. $30 is a small amount to pay for peace of mind, obviously.) But when the doctor turned and moved her leg around, Maggie winced and cried, so that’s why the x-ray was ordered.

So the verdict: nothing serious. Apparently there are 3 things that are concerns in the joints of kids. The first is a very serious infection situation, but Maggie’s temperature was perfect and she’s showing no signs of being sick at all. The second is a bone/growth plate dislocation thing, and her x-rays were fine. The third is a viral ‘cold’-type thing in the joints, and this is a possibility but there’s no way to know for sure… and really no need to know, because the remedy is rest and ibuprofen.

My gut says it’s not the viral cold thing. She’s only complaining specifically about her hip, not an all-over joint achy-ness. And I don’t think she injured herself at school- she ran to us when we arrived and was walking around just fine before she started screaming the first time.

I think it’s probably a combination of a few things: I think she’s growing right now- INCREDIBLY clumsy this week, sleeping like a rock (3 hour naps, plus 11-12 hours straight through each night, ASKING to go to sleep by 7:30pm!) and eating a lot more food the past few days. And I’ve always read how when kids are growing, their joints are loose and flexible (even more than normal). I’m also wondering if she wasn’t a bit dehydrated from school- it was a warm day today, and they were playing outside most of the afternoon. Combine loose joints with some dehydration and you’ve got yourselves a Charley Horse. And THOSE HURT. And are kind of scary, especially when you’re 2 and have no idea what’s happening.

The good news is that the princess stickers the doctor gave her must have been magical, because we got home and she was running through the living room and climbing around on the couch. She had a popsicle while she watched Word World and scampered over to the garbage can to throw away the wrapper. No limping, no hesitation.

*EXHALE*

I’m thinking of wrapping her in bubble wrap. Anyone got any tape?