Twitter Updates

favortweets! round #6

Oh you Twitter Peeps. You keep me giggling. I thank you for that!

samanthajcampen (blog) I just got pollenated by my office plant. AFTERNOON DELIGHT! 12:31 PM Aug 20th

Sarcomical (blog) …so, the bottle says don’t take more than 6 ibuprofen in 24 hours. tonight i scoff bitterly. SOME MAN MUST HAVE WRITTEN THAT. 1:00 AM Aug 22nd

wishcake (blog) The next time someone tells me I look tired, I’m going to say something about their mom. It won’t be pretty. 2:42 PM Aug 22nd

littlemisssun If you flip me off for going 25mph in a school zone, I will cheer when you get pulled over. 9:27 AM Aug 24th

kidthingsnet (blog) One little teapot ready for some vodk…. er, tea. Toy is driving me nuts. 1:51 PM Aug 24th

pgha (blog) what’s the aromatherapy scent for calming the fuck down? we need it piped in over here. 2:04 PM Aug 24th

CranberryPerson MARRIAGE TIP: If your kids are going away for a week starting Monday, you make DAMN SURE your sexiest sweatpants get laundered on Sunday. 4:47 PM Aug 24th

alimartell (blog) Isabella to me, at our playdate: Mommy, I wish we were at home so I could take my pants off. 2:37 PM Aug 25th

melissity (blog) Me: “We don’t walk on other people’s grass. Stay on the sidewalk, ok?” Oliver, after thinking: “I’m just gonna put my SHADOW on the grass.” 11:39 AM Aug 26th

JanePitt (blog) If I write a book, I shall call it “If stabbing pigeons is wrong, I bet it’s really wrong when I light them on fire.” #PETA 3:11 PM Aug 26th

scarletfire (blog) Life w/ a 5 yr old means I get to see inside every public bathroom in the free world. 7:06 PM Aug 26th

SamAbernethy (blog) There should be a font for sarcasm. 11:23 AM Aug 27th

burghbaby (blog) I love our vending machine. It always gives me 3 bags of chips for the price of 1. It’s all “Girl, you’re too skinny. Here, eat more chips.” 2:38 PM Aug 28th

Sundry (blog) Last night’s trainer: “Hey, guess how I came up with this exercise?” Me (gasping): “While you were watching that movie SAW?” 11:29 AM Aug 29th

TTG showcase of homes is on…my type of porn 11:04 AM Aug 30th

mooshinindy (blog) If you’ll excuse me I have to go catch a moth because I married a frackin’ pansy. 9:51 PM Aug 30th

burghbaby (blog) This day of sanity brought to you by my employer who was kind enough not give me enough vacation days to be home the whole time MIL is here. 3:27 PM Aug 31st

hollyburns (blog) I made 286 salted caramels this weekend. If you are a guest at my wedding, I would like you to enjoy the SHIT out of those caramels. 7:12 PM Aug 31st

Torrie (blog) “Mommy, can you help me fly? I can’t do it myself.” That pretty much sums up parenting. 8:41 AM Sep 1st

dooce (blog) I’m going to build a house out in the woods where it’s quiet and I can write without interruption. I’ll call it my blog cabin. 9:55 AM Sep 1st

notthatyouasked (blog) Things You Should Not Say To Your Husband When He Asks if the New Neighbors Are Nice: “The dad? Is totally hot.” 9:11 PM Sep 1st

Sundry (blog) Post-poop, my son cranes his head around to try and peer at his butt. “Hey, Mom?” he asks earnestly. “Was it a CLEAN BREAK?” 11:34 PM Sep 1st

mamaspohr (blog) I just ate 1,050 calories of cream puffs. If I don’t gain weight this week, everything I know is a lie. 12:30 AM Sep 2nd

CranberryPerson Two ways to be an effective pedestrian are: (1) be alert, or (2) be so large you look like you’d do serious damage to any car that hits you 11:06 AM Sep 2nd

8 Comments

  1. I just have to tell you, I love this idea! I may have to do my own version of it soon. And also, I’ve found so many great new blogs in your Favortweets posts. Yay funny people. :)
    .-= Alicia’s last blog post: Customer service is not dead =-.

    Sep 3 9:30 am


  2. I was biting my lip to keep from laughing out loud while reading these at work.

    There might be blood. I think I am going to need one of Maggie’s popsicles.

    Sep 3 10:16 am


  3. samantha jo campen
    @samanthajcampen

    Okay, that PETA one was HILARIOUS.

    Man these are funny. Tee hee!

    Sep 3 10:33 am


  4. L’d OL at “Clean break”.
    .-= bluzdude’s last blog post: A Fish Story =-.

    Sep 3 7:13 pm


  5. The one from Torrie is possibly my favorite twitter ever. & I can’t believe you know so many funny people. They are my idols.
    .-= Laura’s last blog post: on my mind – adios august! =-.

    Sep 3 10:56 pm


  6. Caity
    @caitysparkles

    Oh my gosh these are SO great. I look so forward to these.
    .-= Caity’s last blog post: Two months as a vegan. =-.

    Sep 5 10:52 pm


  7. I giggled the whole way through but the last one made me spit a little.
    .-= moosh in indy.’s last blog post: the real moosh. =-.

    Sep 9 9:47 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      ha yeah CranberryPerson is always good for a spit-laugh.

      Sep 9 9:49 pm