It’s time for another round of Twitter Favorites! I’ve decided I’m going to call this little recurring feature about my favorite Twitter posts ‘Twavorites’. It’s cheesy and cutesy and just about perfect, don’t you think?
For more Twitter favorite posts, visit the archives!
Melissity: Self checkout FAIL: Scanned a helium balloon on a string and the automated voice hollered, “PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM ON THE BELT.” 9:24 PM Jul 12th
girlhaq: I just read online where someone compared their baby’s poop consistency to peanut butter. As I’m eating my peanut butter bagel. 12:30 PM Jul 14th
amalah: “Kiddie pool?” Pshaw. More like “kiddie exhaustification device of nap-inducing magic.” 2:24 PM Jul 14th
scarletfire: OMG traffic! I just got passed by a wheelchair. 5:19 PM Jul 14th
metalia: Discussions w/my kids are rife with potential titles for a memoir. Today’s contender: “Because You Can’t SEE Farts, That’s Why.” 7:36 PM Jul 14th
CranberryPerson: Her: TV’s broken, what are we going to do WINK WINK Me: Dunno. Read? Her: No, I mean we can go up in the BEDROOM Me: OH YEAH THAT TV WORKS 9:16 PM Jul 14th
burghbaby: Overheard: “Alexis, brush your teeth.” Her: “I don’t want to.” Him: “I don’t care.” Her: “I don’t care first.” Him: “I don’t care more.” 10:13 PM Jul 14th
CranberryPerson: I usually run before the sun comes up, so on a rare daylight run, I’m always shocked at how badly my shadow needs to do some crunches. 2:15 PM Jul 16th
SamAbernethy: Dear South Dakota, you are beautiful. I sincerely apologize for mocking your dull rectangular appearance on a map. 6:32 PM Jul 17th
JanePitt: Ed Rendell is writing a book?! Will it be called “OMG SANDWICHES!!!!” 12:12 PM Jul 18th
BackpackingDad: My wife is leaving for the afternoon to get her hair done. How am I supposed to care for 2 children? I’m a man! 1:50 PM Jul 18th
playgroupie: Mystery stench in kitchen, trash can? Sink? Hidden dirty diaper? Hidden bloated mobster carcass? 11:00 AM Jul 20th
notthatyouasked: Where’s the space in the baby book for “Baby’s First Formed Turd”? 5:00 PM Jul 20th
amalah: Cleaning mussels for dinner. The Internet informs me that I must remove the “fibrous byssal threads.” I think I want a pizza. 7:00 PM Jul 20th