Twitter Updates

favortweets! round #3

Oh you Twitter Peeps, you all were particularly witty this week. I marked so many favorites during the past 7 days, I don’t think I’m going to be able to post them all here. But I’ll pick the Best of the Best and hopefully the list won’t be too long.

I truly love you guys. Seriously.

Also: NEW FEATURE! I’m adding a little link to everyone’s blog (at least those of you who have one) to give you some blog love. Because really, if you’re this awesome in 140 characters or less, your blogs obviously rock too.

samanthajcampen (blog) Email from Quizno’s “samantha…Introducing the new $3 Toasty Bullet.” I. .I have so many things to say about that, and so few characters. 11:33 PM Jul 20th

jaemie (blog) Just saw an old man wearing super-short shorts riding a bike, and his “personal belongings” were hanging out everywhere. #scarredforlife 1:17 PM Jul 21st

AllisonB (blog) God is not spitting devil kittens that will eat your toes if you drive over 30mph. It’s called RAIN. 3:31 PM Jul 21st

aPSUmama (blog) Dear coworker who brought cabbage and onions to the office: please identify yourself so that I may throw up on your desk. Thank you. 2:50 PM Jul 22nd

melissity (blog) grab your brush and grab your rollers, all you kids and all you bowlers… we’re going paintin’ today! 8:53 PM Jul 22nd

EDITOR’S NOTE: Any reference to Gilmore Girls pretty much automatically makes the list. WOO!

ShameleslySassy (blog) Raise your hand if you just ran into your mailbox with your car! 5:03 PM Jul 23rd

CranberryPerson Spent all evening hooking up my new TV, so I didn’t run, but then I watched some of the Tour de France, which was pretty exhausting in HD. 8:13 AM Jul 24th

jamesbainbridge (blog) I wish I was Indiana Jones. At least he was allowed to shoot the people who tried to fuck up his day. 8:26 AM Jul 24th

thatnight (blog) Wondering how many girls read their boyfriends’ relationship status on Facebook and are all, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S COMPLICATED?!” 11:48 AM Jul 24th

scarletfire (blog) There is entirely too much loud in this house. 7:37 PM Jul 24th

TheHeatherB (blog) OH: “Once you pop a baby out of your parts you can focus on like six different things at once” 5:30 PM Jul 25th

BackpackingDad (blog) “How many of you have a problem unplugging?” ~Elisa Camhort. “God, I need to tweet that.” ~Me. #BlogHer09 6:38 PM Jul 25th

BackpackingDad (blog) I looked at the clock to see how far into the morning I was stretching this here all-nighter: 11:35pm. Get off my lawn. 2:38 AM Jul 27th

AllisonB (blog) Alex made a yogurt hat. Then he pooped in the tub. Then he pooped in the potty. You know you’re a mom when you think that is a good day. 10:46 AM Jul 27th

redpenmama (blog) It would be a lot nicer if webinars and winebars had more in common than their letters. 1:55 PM Jul 28th

Sundry (blog) I bet the hardcore Seattle environmentalists wish they had my AC right about now. That’s right, I’m destroying the earth, COMFORTABLY. 7:23 PM Jul 28th

JanePitt From now on when any famous person’s name is trending, I’m just going to assume they died to save myself the research. RIP Brett Favre. 9:33 PM Jul 28th

BackpackingDad (blog) Except that’s not all we care about. @aaronvest and I have minds. They are huge and they can think all night. 11:25 PM Jul 28th

JanePitt Went to an antique store yesterday and recalled playing with several of the “antique” toys when I was a child. That store can bite me. 8:31 AM Jul 29th

metalia (blog) Who wants to invest in my new cardio program? It’s called Realizing You’ve Dropped A Blank Check in Grand Central Terminal. (PS-I found it.) 9:44 AM Jul 29th

alexaflotsam (blog) Happily, the antiviral he gave me is a herpes med, so according to the commercials I should be riding horseback on the beach any time now. 11:00 AM Jul 29th

samanthajcampen (blog) Just had a Lunch and Learn meeting about Outlook. I then came back and licked gmail. 2:46 PM Jul 29th

10 Comments

  1. samantha jo campen
    @samanthajcampen

    These crack me up Every! Single! Time! Boy howdy do I have some new people to follow! The mailbox one name me BURST out laughing:-)
    .-= samantha jo campen’s last blog post: Blah blah blah blah BlogHer =-.

    Jul 29 9:31 pm


  2. I think I’m gonna have to start following this AllisonB person :D All of these are hilarious! I’m so happy (for selfish reasons of course) that you know such funny people.
    .-= Candace’s last blog post: The Itchy, Uncomfortable, Choking Hazard & some play time =-.

    Jul 29 9:32 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      AllisonB is awesome :) She’s a Burgher and I’ve met her several times (went to the zoo with her & her son a few weeks ago!) and yes, her tweets are HILARIOUS.

      Jul 29 9:34 pm


  3. I tried to read some of these out loud to my husband but couldn’t come close to doing them justice. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breath. Talking was out of the question.

    So glad you started collecting these!

    :)
    .-= Kelly’s last blog post: HELLP! =-.

    Jul 29 9:43 pm


  4. Gina

    My husband loved the Indiana Jones one, and all of them are amazingly funny! Thank you for posting these :-)

    Jul 30 9:03 am


  5. Caity
    @caitysparkles

    Haha those are fantastic! I love how witty some people are. My tweets are boring in comparison.
    .-= Caity’s last blog post: My first vegan baking endeavor! =-.

    Jul 30 10:23 am


  6. All of these are the reason I would never go to BlogHer. You actually have to be a BLOGGER – you know, write, and be witty. Way too much for me. I am comfortable sitting in the backseat and laughing at them. I’ll never claim to be a blogger!
    .-= Laura’s last blog post: habits of a reader =-.

    Jul 30 1:39 pm


  7. Andrea
    @ajh_rigs

    Oh, that BPDad- love the “huge minds that can think all night” tweet- especially after reading his post about the same subject. His blog is sometimes a little existential for me, but in 140 characters he can’t make my head spin too much! :)

    I totally agree with Laura- I am NOT a blogger! :)
    .-= Andrea’s last blog post: Kung Fu King =-.

    Jul 31 12:06 pm


  8. red pen mama
    @redpenmamapgh

    Aw, thanks for the shout out! I will try not to buckle under the pressure.

    And I’m just telling the truth, man. We should find a way to combine Webinars and winebars. We’d make a million!

    ciao,
    r[m

    Aug 3 1:48 pm


  9. red pen mama
    @redpenmamapgh

    whoops. how about “rpm” rather. guess those fries were greasy.

    rpm
    .-= red pen mama’s last blog post: Stutter =-.

    Aug 3 1:49 pm