Twitter Updates

twavorites! round #2

It’s time for another round of Twitter Favorites! I’ve decided I’m going to call this little recurring feature about my favorite Twitter posts ‘Twavorites’. It’s cheesy and cutesy and just about perfect, don’t you think?

For more Twitter favorite posts, visit the archives!

Melissity: Self checkout FAIL: Scanned a helium balloon on a string and the automated voice hollered, “PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM ON THE BELT.” 9:24 PM Jul 12th

girlhaq: I just read online where someone compared their baby’s poop consistency to peanut butter. As I’m eating my peanut butter bagel. 12:30 PM Jul 14th

amalah: “Kiddie pool?” Pshaw. More like “kiddie exhaustification device of nap-inducing magic.” 2:24 PM Jul 14th

scarletfire: OMG traffic! I just got passed by a wheelchair. 5:19 PM Jul 14th

metalia: Discussions w/my kids are rife with potential titles for a memoir. Today’s contender: “Because You Can’t SEE Farts, That’s Why.” 7:36 PM Jul 14th

CranberryPerson: Her: TV’s broken, what are we going to do WINK WINK Me: Dunno. Read? Her: No, I mean we can go up in the BEDROOM Me: OH YEAH THAT TV WORKS 9:16 PM Jul 14th

burghbaby: Overheard: “Alexis, brush your teeth.” Her: “I don’t want to.” Him: “I don’t care.” Her: “I don’t care first.” Him: “I don’t care more.” 10:13 PM Jul 14th

CranberryPerson: I usually run before the sun comes up, so on a rare daylight run, I’m always shocked at how badly my shadow needs to do some crunches. 2:15 PM Jul 16th

SamAbernethy: Dear South Dakota, you are beautiful. I sincerely apologize for mocking your dull rectangular appearance on a map. 6:32 PM Jul 17th

JanePitt: Ed Rendell is writing a book?! Will it be called “OMG SANDWICHES!!!!” 12:12 PM Jul 18th

BackpackingDad: My wife is leaving for the afternoon to get her hair done. How am I supposed to care for 2 children? I’m a man! 1:50 PM Jul 18th

playgroupie: Mystery stench in kitchen, trash can? Sink? Hidden dirty diaper? Hidden bloated mobster carcass? 11:00 AM Jul 20th

notthatyouasked: Where’s the space in the baby book for “Baby’s First Formed Turd”? 5:00 PM Jul 20th

amalah: Cleaning mussels for dinner. The Internet informs me that I must remove the “fibrous byssal threads.” I think I want a pizza. 7:00 PM Jul 20th

6 Comments

  1. Oh. My. Goodness. My face hurts. And my non-Twittering husband things I’m crazy :).
    .-= Kelly’s last blog post: 1 year =-.

    Jul 20 8:45 pm


    • Jen
      @jayesel

      LOL I know- last week I was nearly crying from laughing so hard and Dan was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU FREAK? Of course now he’s on Twitter so he can’t make too much fun of me. heh

      Jul 20 8:47 pm


  2. sparkyd

    Note to self: Do not read any future twavorites posts until c-section has fully healed. Ouch.

    Jul 20 9:25 pm


  3. Caity
    @caitysparkles

    Hahaha I love these. :D
    .-= Caity’s last blog post: More book ponderings. =-.

    Jul 20 9:56 pm


  4. You follow some freakin funny people. These are inspirations.
    .-= Laura’s last blog post: habits of a reader =-.

    Jul 20 11:17 pm


  5. Candace
    @girlhaq

    I loooooove your Twavorites. They light up my Monday. You should call them Favotwits Mondays! And I totally think this is going to catch on and be one of those crazy widespread Internet meme things.
    .-= Candace’s last blog post: Dieting =-.

    Jul 21 5:16 pm