Google says

I just love reading my website stats. I love charts and graphs and comparing numbers, and don’t even get me started with spreadsheets. But one of my favorite things is reading the crazy things that people type into Google to find my site. I find it fascinating. Not just that my site comes up as a result, but that someone actually sits down and types these things into their browser. Some of them are just insane. HILARIOUS, but insane.

Here are some favorites from this week.

do jean jackets look stupid
I suppose it would depend on a lot of things. Did someone attack the jean jacket with a Bedazzler? Then there’s a pretty good chance that the jean jacket looks stupid. But I’ve seen some jean jackets lately (this one, for example) that look stylish and a little retro, in a good way. So you see, the answer is not clear-cut.

And thus concludes our fashion lesson for the day. This coming from a woman who spends 95% of her time in her pajama pants and leopard-print fuzzy slippers.

crock pot recipe toddler
I just HOPE that someone was searching for something to make in a crock pot that a toddler would eat, and NOT a recipe for how to cook a toddler in a crock pot. No matter how bad it gets, how cranky they are, and how much they make you want to tie your tubes YOURSELF WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE AND SOME YARN, cooking them in a crock pot is never the answer.

Consider that your public service announcement of the day. I’m here to help, people.

sisters arse filterui:aspect-wide
I had absolutely NO idea what this was all about at first. Then I realized it was actually an image search for ‘sisters arse’ and the filterui:aspect-wide part was an option for Google Image search for finding images oriented horizontally. So I guess it makes more sense when you look at it that way. But… sisters arse? This is the page on my site that was a hit for this one. I searched for ‘sister’ and ‘arse’ in the text on this page of my site, and the only ‘arse’ that was on this page was in the word ‘reheARSE’. Good searching Google. IT’S NOT EVEN AN IMAGE.

gilmore girls squeegee beckenheim
Let’s hear it for Squeegee Beckenheim!

deal with nasal rocks
I’m gonna assume that ‘nasal rocks’ is some kind of hip lingo slang for boogers. In which case: just call them boogers.

brain boil
YOU GUYS. I’m #1 on Google for ‘brain boil’. I cannot tell you how awesome that is, because a lot of the time, that’s exactly how I feel. And probably how I act, too.


  1. Laura

    January 7, 2009 8:12 pm

    Rolling on the floor. Nothing better than search result strings. Man oh man.

    Lauras last blog post: in with the nuevo

  2. Andrea

    January 7, 2009 11:13 pm

    I just read the “brain boil” post and laughed so hard! H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S, lady!!! :)

  3. Steph

    January 8, 2009 3:45 pm

    KUDOS to you for being #1 on Google!

    (for brain boil)


  4. Johnina

    January 10, 2009 6:47 pm

    Okay, you caught me! The jean jacket one was me. I was think of going into the bedazzling business on Esty. =)

    Johninas last blog post: Please, Don’t toss the cookies!!

  5. Ashley @ Front Porch

    January 10, 2009 6:50 pm

    OMG I’m crying. Too funny. Thanks, I needed that.

    Ashley @ Front Porchs last blog post: Disneyland or bust

  6. Grace

    January 14, 2009 7:30 pm

    These are so funny! What kind of program/plugin do you use to keep track of these google searches that bring people to your website?

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