Trojan was soooo about to get a strongly-worded letter
This week I was like, 100%, totally, 95% sure that I was pregnant. An unplanned, SURPRISE! pregnancy. And if you know me at all, you know I am A Planner. So you can imagine all the FREAKING OUT, OMG!!! that was going on.
(SPOILER ALERT: I am NOT pregnant. *HAPPY DANCE*)
I apologize to any male readers (I know there are a few of you) who get uncomfortable during discussions about periods, because that’s what’s about to happen. But you know what? This is a girl’s blog and girls get periods. So you can either read or move on. (But really, it’s not like I’m going to describe it in graphic detail or anything. Don’t be frightened.)
Anyway. It all started on Monday when I felt really crappy all day. So so so tired (which, looking back, that actually started on Saturday.) It was that tired where you want to take a nap but you just know that it won’t make you feel any better. I was so tired that a few times I actually felt dizzy, and my skin HURT. If I had been really sick, the achy-ness would have made sense but I was fine otherwise. And my stomach. argh. It was that combination of hunger and nausea that I’ve only experienced one other time in my life- when I was pregnant with Maggie. Suddenly that evening, it hit me: I was late for my period.
I just couldn’t quite figure out HOW late. You see, last month’s visit from ‘Aunt Flo’ was a little weird. It came early and lasted a loooong time (like 9 days!!!) so my count was a little off. If I counted from the early start of last month, by Monday, I was already like 6 days late. If I counted from the day my period SHOULD have started last month (around day 28 or 29ish) then I was only like 3 days late. Which isn’t that late, really. But the way I was feeling… oh man. OH MAN. OH CRAPPITY CRAP CRAP CRAP!!
I let it all sink in for a bit before saying anything to Dan. Then of course when I did, HE LAUGHED AT ME. He said ‘That would be awesome!’ and then I karate chopped his face.
Tuesday morning I woke up, hoping that the nausea would be gone. To my surprise, it was! Then I ate breakfast and about an hour later… it was back. Maggie and I went grocery shopping that afternoon and Lordy, all I wanted to do was just lay down in the middle of the floor and sleep. I could not shake the exhausted feeling, and I kept getting these waves of nausea and those were always followed by a complete panic of HOW WILL I TAKE TWO KIDS GROCERY SHOPPING, OMG?!?!? and DANG IT, I WANTED TO HAVE A FALL BABY! THIS ONE WILL BE DUE THE SAME WEEK AS MAGGIE’S BIRTHDAY!
Then of course I’d try (and fail) to convince myself it was all just in my head. I wasn’t pregnant, no way man. So, to calm my fears- or to confirm them once and for all- I decided to buy a pregnancy test. While I was trying to decide between the 2-pack and the single (got a 2-pack, just in case!) Maggie somehow found my pen in my purse and wrote all over her hand with it. Yes, this is just what I need. Another one of THESE TO WATCH 24/7. I just love her timing.
We got home, I had to pee. So I took the test. It was negative. But all evening I still felt queasy and tired and like a huge ball of air was in my abdomen.
This morning, I woke up and felt completely back to normal. My belly felt flatter (Amen for THAT!) and my stomach felt completely normal. Then later today, I started my period.
Lesson learned: If you want your period to start, spend $9.99 on a 2-pack pregnancy test. Worked like a charm!
Now, it’s not that I wouldn’t have been excited for a new baby… eventually. I guarantee that I would have bawled my eyes out had it been positive. And I know after a day or two, I would have calmed down and been okay and all would have been fine. But dude. I am just so not mentally there yet, not ready for another kid. I feel like I just got used to the one I have, and I want to enjoy her- just her- for a little while longer.
I have no idea what was up with my body this month. I have never been a week late for my period EVER without being pregnant (so, um, ONCE.) I’ll just chalk it up to crazy hormones and Monster PMS From Hell.
But I’m making Dan sleep on the couch for a while, just in case his Man Parts try to sweet-talk my ovaries into something impulsive.
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Dude, I have been there so.many.times. Jon now just rolls his eyes and pats my back and books a flight to Mexico just in case it is true.
Corries last blog post..Homemade Donuts
I have symptoms every month!! but I want sooo bad to be pregnant, but I know the feeling!!! :) just so you know form what I have learned for charting my fertility, I have not been “normal” I will be anywhere form 29-32 days I learned that form taking my tempture. Some months women will just ovulate late and then they get there period “late” it all about the luna phase!! (mine is alway 13 days) and all the stress and going on vacation can make you ovulated late!!! :)
OK, I know I joked about it on Twitter, but I can totally understand that sense of relief. (Especially because I’m a Planner too, as you know!) I’m not on any b.c. and Flo is usually right on time, so if I’m even ONE day late, I freak out! I swear sometimes our bodies just like to screw with us. So even though I’m a little sad you’re waiting for a fall baby (but am I allowed to be excited if it’s NEXT fall?? :), I definitely sympathize with the “WHEW, no accident!” feeling.
I know I felt REALLY relieved getting past that “two years apart” mark, and then the “two and a half years apart” mark… even though George always claimed that anything after 2 years would make him really happy. Men always seem to be ready sooner. I thought that would change after we HAD a child and he knew what we were getting into, but nope. However I bet that would change if THEY had to push the baby out! :P
It seems to be a guy thing to be ready…..well, a lot of guys. Chuck would be happy if I were to get pregnant again right now. He loves babies and kids and even though we have three already and I am done, done, done…..he wouldn’t mind a bit if we had another!
You girls (planners, I am talking to you!) need to just quit planning and get on with it already! I love hearing about pregnancy and babies…and since I am done, I need to live through you guys!!
@Nichole: I temped when I was trying to conceive with Maggie, and interestingly enough, I think I ovulated late the month I got pregnant with her! But I still got a positive pregnancy test only 1 day later than my ‘normal’ or expected cycle… Our bodies are so goofy, aren’t they?
So are you TTC? Exciting :) *hugs*
Haha that last sentence just cracked me up.
I’m glad things worked out. I’ve taken about a dozen pregnancy tests since Alex was born. With him, I had NO signs or symptoms for so long that I’m scared that could easily happen again (I went months at a time without a period so it wasn’t unusual to go 3 months!).
Sometimes that period is a wonderful thing to see.
Allisons last blog post..Where The Heart Is
@Melissa: I’m still up in the air about the ‘next fall’ part.. that would mean this winter getting pregnant and I don’t know if I’m ready yet!!! But then I’d have to wait until Maggie’s almost 3… I don’t know. I keep going back and forth. I think once she turns two and keeps growing up and becomes more independent, I’ll start to feel less panicky about it all. Right now she’s still very much a ‘baby’ in a lot of ways (but very much a ‘kid’ in others!) so the idea of having a newborn makes me have a heart attack. Plus, I REALLY need to figure out what I’m going to do about work- I can’t afford to send 2 kids to daycare twice a week, it wouldn’t make sense to keep working then. Time is ticking to get that one figured out… heh.
I agree though- if it were Dan pushing the baby out and staying home with 2 kids, the story would be MUCH MUCH DIFFERENT. lol
@Priscilla: NO! I WILL NOT QUIT PLANNING! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!! lol
@Allison: I think I’m about eleventy-billion percent more paranoid about getting pregnant now than I was before Maggie. Or even before I was MARRIED. That says something, lol Maybe because I know what we’d be in for? hehe
Yeah. I know the feeling. Except mine really WAS unplanned. And I really DID cry. And I WASN’T okay with it within a couple days. (In fact, I’m still not sure if I’m okay with it…) After all, it’s not the end of world.
But I was on TWO types of BC for the first six months of his life, because NO. ;)
Lauras last blog post..breaking the rut
Ugh, I have those symptoms EVERY month with NO fail. Tummy and boob bloat, nausea, exhaustion, the works. I always worry even if I haven’t been doing any funny business.
bahahaha “just in case his Man Parts try to sweet-talk my ovaries into something impulsive”, im still laughing to that, and my tummy is hurting. That is hilarious!
Francescas last blog post..Crossing my fingers
I was there once and let me tell you the emotional roller coaster of that stupid missed period should be enough to bring it on, wouldn’t you think? Several days after a negative test I even went as far as going for a blood test. Flo waited to show up the day we flew 12 hours home to see family, because that isn’t a fun enough day.
It seems like every six months or so my cycle “shifts” a little and I am convinced I am pregnant. And then I go through the emotions of being upset – worrying about my advancing age and money and day car and god forbid, I don’t want to be pregnant in Disney. And then I start thinking it would be OK, because I would have had another if it hadn’t taken so long to have the second. And then when I am not, I’m both relieved and disappointed.
Ginas last blog post..It’s Emails Like This That Get Me Through The Long, Boring Work Day
Oh wow, I had a month like that back in March. I was 99.9% convinced I was, and I was soooooooooo not happy about it. And I did the exact same thing, went out and bought a test, took it, negative result, and the next day I got my period. Talk about a waste of money. But I was completely convinced I was. I was also not upset to find out I wasn’t. I just wasn’t ready for two kids.
wait until you are ready. Its always better that way!
Yeah, I’ve been there…remember that blog post over @ my Fishing Widow blog…and I still don’t know what I’m going to do about grocery shopping especially since I’m having a late fall baby and it will be COLD. And well, I haven’t cried too many times about it. Actually, I think I’ve only cried once about it just this past weekend…but then I got over it because…well, going into early labor didn’t sound like a good option either! So.
Yeah, we had a plan too…we were going to start trying this month, but I’m already knocked up…so…so much for that plan. I guess I’m following a different plan…
I loved the last paragraph…gave me a bit of a giggle! :)
Yeah, I’m totally there with you! I’m still BF so my cycle is all weird! I scared my hubby last night by telling him I was pregnant and then saying “just kidding”.
Jaimes last blog post..We’re Packed
Wow..yea I have been there several times lately. I have always been on bc but recently went off of it because I think my body wanted a break. Or maybe I wanted a break for my body? But of course, I can’t really take my body serious right now. I haven’t had my period in like 2 months! But I’m sure it’s only because this is the first time in 6 years (!!!!) I haven’t had hormone help. Haha. No, I’m not preggers, I have taken like 3 tests, but where’s my period that I so oddly count on???
That last line just made me laugh out loud!!! Hilarity!!
@Jaime: THAT is just evil! LOL
@Rachie: Isn’t it funny how we complain so much about our periods, but then when they’re late, we miss them? It is kind of a comfort… like ‘hey, everything’s working good here!’
you guys are all breathing a deep sigh of relief but here I am, in the midst of my month that turned out to be for real… I so thought it would end up as nothing, but as the days went on… there was the plus sign, and now at 8 months preggo. So excited, and super deluxe scared… but thats normal.. uhhhhhmmmmm.. right!
someone say it is….
Leslies last blog post..i like lists about nothing
@Leslie: oh that’s completely normal, I’m sure!! When I was pregnant with Maggie, I was all those things… so I think it’s only natural that with #2 coming, you would be freaking out a bit now and then :) You’re allowed, it’s okay!
“karate chopped his face!” – That just cracked me up!!! :)