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alone no more


Internet, I’ve been lying to you all week.

Not maliciously, and not really about anything that important. But because since becoming a Mom, I’ve turned quite paranoid about The World, especially the Internet World (I spent Thursday night making pretty much every Flickr picture on my account that had a person in it ‘Friends & Family Only’) So I didn’t want to blog about the fact that Dan was been out of town for work since last Wednesday (April 9). I felt that would be a big huge invitation for any potential Internet Stalkers, like ‘Hey, we’re all alone here! Please come get us!’ Or perhaps that’s giving us a lot of credit, that someone would want to stalk us. But whatever. I also knew my mom would totally yell at me for sharing those secrets with The Internet.

I’ve been playing Single Mother for a week and a half, and let me tell you: NOT VERY MUCH FUN. I know that lots of parents go it alone for various reasons. Military wives, divorces, (God forbid) death of a spouse. To them I say: Where do you get your SuperPowers? And can you share them?!?

The first few days were fine. I mean, I’m home alone with Maggie most days anyway. But when the afternoons get particularly long and she’s particularly cranky and whiny, I know there is a break coming: My Rescue. Daddy will be here and he loves to play with her and then I can do things like clean up the kitchen without a small person attached to my leg. I know, SUCH a life of luxury!

But by Monday, Maggie had been pretty fussy for a few days. Teething combined with the start of a cold plus only one 1-hour nap each day made for some loooong afternoons. And when I talked to him on the phone Monday night, after I spent my first birthday in 12 years away from him, and he said he had no idea when he’d be home and it “might be a while”, I got upset. And maybe rushed to get off the phone with him so he wouldn’t know I was about to cry.

I didn’t want him to know that I was so upset, because I knew he didn’t want to be in Fargo (that’s where he was: Fargo, North Dakota. Land of… I have no idea what.) anymore than we wanted him there. He has never had to travel for work, so this was new for us. And he missed Maggie A LOT. And probably me too, a little bit. I think it was probably mostly because it was my birthday, and though I had a great time at dinner with my mom and my sister, it was still… not the same (no offense, ladies!)

The next morning I felt like a huge dork for being so upset- I mean, really, SO not that big a of a crisis. So he’s gone for a week or so, big deal? I tried to put it all in perspective, knowing that so many people, so many mothers, have it so much harder than me. But still. It was a long week. I hate sleeping alone at night. And the cat doesn’t count!

I also hated being at my cousin’s wedding last night without him- it was so weird. After we all sat down and got settled, I kept looking around for him, totally expecting him to be coming back from the bar with a drink, or some cookies for me, or something. (I know- SO DRAMATIC. I wonder where my daughter gets it?!?!)

BUT! He’s coming home today. His flight lands in about 45 minutes, and hopefully he’ll be home an hour or so after that. He’s going to be so exhausted, I’m sure, having been working 11-14 hour days all week. So I’m going to try really hard not to be all ‘HERE’S YOUR KID, I’M GOING TO THE MALL FOR 16 DAYS, DO NOT CALL ME I WILL NOT ANSWER, KTHXBAI.’ Instead I’ll let him unpack and get settled, and maybe even cook him dinner.

And he’s SOOOO on baby monitor duty tonight.

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13 Comments


  1. Jane

    Apr 19 at 1:14 pm

    I’m glad you survived!! Sorry you were apart on your birthday. That really sucks. Especially since he was in Fargo where it probably snowed!

    Jane’s latest blog post: Playing with a Potholder



  2. Melissa

    Apr 19 at 1:44 pm

    I totally understand—I wouldn’t tell the Internet either. You just never know!!

    It seems like you can’t have enough hands or eyes or SANITY to go around, even with two parents… so I am in respectful awe of single parents. I guess I could do it if I had to, but it would be really hard.

    It’s been rough for us with George in law school… it’s not half as hard as being alone, but it’s still plenty taste enough of the single mother life for me! I get exhausted trying to handle Oliver AND the house by myself. The fact that it’s only temporary helps keep my whining to a minimum, because like you said, I know deep down that many people have it much, much harder.

    But you made it (see, you have more SuperPowers than you think!) and now he’s coming home! YAY!! He probably missed you guys so much. Have a happy weekend!! :)

    Melissa’s latest blog post: evolution of a getaway



  3. Jen

    Apr 19 at 2:25 pm

    @Jane: Yeah the first few days he was there, it was 30 degrees and snowing! And here- it was warm and sunny. Poor guy! lol



  4. Jen

    Apr 19 at 2:28 pm

    @Melissa: Parenting is definitely a 2-person… sometimes a 5-person job! lol And you’re right- I COULD do it if I had to, but I really wouldn’t want to. It was hard enough for the last year with Dan working till 7 or 8 almost every night (which thankfully lately he hasn’t been doing!!!)

    He got home about an hour ago… and left again! haha He ran out to get stuff for the lawn mower so he can cut the grass today before it rains. um… welcome home? hehe He did give Maggie about 35,834 kisses first though ;)



  5. Rhona

    Apr 19 at 2:51 pm

    I totally know how you feel about sleeping alone. I went to visit a friend in college last Friday and it was the first time I’d been away from my boyfriend since we’ve been together and I tossed and turned the whole night because he wasn’t next to me. And I don’t have children yet, but I can imagine what it must be like when your spouse has to go out of town…..very hard!



  6. Corrie

    Apr 19 at 9:07 pm

    I was alone Wednesday through Friday. It sucked. Jon felt the earthquake though and got to go to where the Mentos factory…he’s working on a project for them. I hate being alone with three kids, it sucks! I actually missed the fart monster!

    Corrie’s latest blog post: Random, Deep thoughts again



  7. Jen

    Apr 19 at 9:09 pm

    @Corrie: oh I know, being alone with kids stinks! I can’t imagine being alone with three of them… eek!!!



  8. Jeanelle

    Apr 19 at 10:20 pm

    I look at the clock every millisecond between 4 and 6 each work day…there’s something about having the other person there…you know that reinforcements and rest are just a shout away.

    My husband has a huge project coming due soon. He won’t be traveling but I doubt I’ll be seeing him much. I’m trying not to be a big dower because I know he’s not looking fwd to it either…but man am I dreading it!!

    Jeanelle’s latest blog post: So, you wanted a tree line…



  9. Holly

    Apr 19 at 10:52 pm

    it’s hard… I have the kids on my own for 2 weeks at a time before they are off to daddy’s for the weekend… I’m looking for superpowers too, but it’s amazing how we find them right when we REALLY need them.



  10. Burgh Baby

    Apr 20 at 8:54 pm

    The land of NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. That’s what is in Fargo. A whole lot of nothing. I hate that place. Hate.

    Anyhoo, I’m glad to hear you survived your week as a single parent. I do the same thing, btw, and don’t mention online when I’ve been abandoned by Mr. Husband. I know it’s silly since it would take a serious amount of effort for someone I don’t know to track me down, but still.



  11. Mia

    Apr 20 at 9:07 pm

    I envy your feelings for longing for your husband. I have a husband that is here and yet I wish he were really here. I do everything around the house (except take the garbage out and mow the lawn). He comes home, complains about dinner then falls asleep on the couch at 8pm. I do all the softball games, daycare, school, girl scouts, dr’s appts, etc. He works. We have no family support either. He pays no attention to anything that has to do with our family and then when the event is the next day he acts all surprised and says that he wishes he could participate but he has to work. We are b-r-o-k-e and bankrupt so working is good, however, at this stage in the game it is not going to make a huge difference whether he leaves work 2 hours early to attend a very important doctor’s appointment with me or not.

    So praise Jesus that you have a husband that helps you when he is in town. Missing him so much when he is away is a beautiful thing :) ~ Enjoy it, Savor it, Never let it die.

    Mia’s latest blog post: From Euphoria to Near Tragic in a Blink of an Eye



  12. Leslie

    Apr 21 at 12:18 pm

    I so so know how you feel, I can’t handle being gone from the hubs. I don’t know how some women do it, alot. Im such a baby, he calls and says he has to work a few hours later, and Im like but wait.. I don’t think so….

    isn’t it so nice for him to be home now? enjoy it..

    Leslie’s latest blog post: 11 months



  13. Laura

    Apr 21 at 2:35 pm

    I have a hard time with just ONE night where the husband works late and doesn’t get home until after Andrew’s in bed. Would be so difficult without him.

    Laura’s latest blog post: interview me 2.01