what happens when a computer programmer tries to build a fire

We have a fireplace in our finished basement that we’ve never used until last weekend, even though we’ve lived here for 2 1/2 years. That’s partly because we only recently had extra furniture for downstairs so we didn’t spend much time down there, and also because we weren’t sure the state of the thing. I wasn’t about to light flames in something that could be stuffed up with animals or leaves or something. So we finally got around to having a chimney inspector/cleaner come and check it out. Thankfully, he gave it a thumbs up and good cleaning (and gladly took my $106, of course, heh) But at least we knew it was safe to use.

And let me tell you: Dan was excited. All he’d talked about for months was being able to build a fire downstairs. ‘How nice will that be?’ he’d say. ‘All cozy and relaxing.’ Sure honey, whatever. That will be great.

Last Saturday it was chilly outside, so after we got home from an afternoon of errands, he decided to give it a go. I was upstairs while he got to work. Suddenly, he came upstairs laughing and choking. He said there was smoke coming inside the house instead of going up the chimney. And all he’d lit was a piece of paper for kindling to get it started.

I, in my infinite wisdom of fireplaces (having never had one before in my life) said, ‘Isn’t there some thingy you need to open up, like a flue or something?’ He looked at me and shrugged. ‘I don’t know, we only ever had a wood burner and didn’t have to do that… I’ve never had a real fireplace before.’ Apparently he wasn’t the right man for the job, then.

Slowly the smoke from downstairs crept it’s way upstairs, until I could HARDLY SEE THE TV, which was about 6 feet in front of me. We had to open windows on either side of the upstairs and put a fan in front of one of them to try to draw out the smokey-ness.

Once it cleared up enough for Dan to go back downstairs (about 30 minutes or so), he came back up laughing again. ‘Um, yeah… there is a lever right inside that opens it up, and it’s working fine now.’

It took over a week for the campfire smell to leave our house… and I still swear I can smell it when the heat kicks on.

• Blog this!
• Bookmark on Delicious
• Recommend on Facebook
• Pin it on pinterest
• Share with Stumblers
• Share on technorati
• Tumblr it
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Print for later
• Bookmark in Browser
• Tell a friend