balancing act

When I first made the decision to quit my job and take the leap into working for myself and ONLY for myself, in my head it was this dream of ample free time and super-flexible hours. I would take walks, do some shopping, relax.. and in between, I’d be working.

The reality is, I’m busier now than I’ve ever been.

Not that I’m complaining- this month’s income has been fantastic (which is good, since it was my first month with no paycheck!) I am happy to have multiple clients to work with and several jobs ending as several are starting. But I am just now starting to feel better and get over the first trimester sickness of pregnancy, and I had to Power Through the worst days. Literally willing myself to JUST MAKE IT THROUGH.

Which I guess explains why I haven’t been around much on here. I haven’t had much to talk about, other than ‘Wow I feel like crap’ and ‘Wow I’ve got a lot to do’. I’ve spent the past month or so in a complete fog. The mixture of hormones and work and adjusting to this whole idea of Having A Baby… just made me feel ARGH.

But I’m happy to say that I’m starting to feel more like myself. I’m still pretty exhausted by the end of the day, but that’s to be expected! Earlier this week, I spent a whole day out- I drove 130 miles round-trip to meet with a new customer, and then stopped at the mall on the way home to buy some maternity clothes (yup, eeek!) By the time I got home, I was almost falling asleep in the car. heh.

I’m still a little bit worried. I’m wondering what’s going to happen when this baby is born. How will I balance all of this? Right now, I’ve been working literally 8hrs straight at home, with very few breaks. How will a baby fit into that? I know really that it will all work out, and my priority will obviously be the baby- work will always come second. But striking a balance will be a challenge… and I have a feeling I’m going to spend the first months completely winging it.

In other news, my dad turns 50 today. And his gift he asked for? Nicorette gum. He’s going to try to quit smoking. :)


  1. Priscilla

    September 28, 2006 11:01 am

    You will find the balance that you need. It may take awhile to adjust to everything (duh!) but you will get it. You will join the millions of moms out there wishing there were at least 8 more hours in every single day just to get it all done.
    Good for your dad! I’m cheering him on. We are almost at the one year mark since we quit smoking and we are happy to be smoke-free.

  2. Claudia

    September 28, 2006 11:38 am

    I’m sure you’ll find some comprimise. In the first few months you’ll probably feel run ragged, but once the baby gets older, you’ll be able to do more desk-work as it will be able to sit in one of those exersaucer things :)

  3. Laura

    September 28, 2006 11:57 am

    You’re fortunate to have the opportunity to find your own balance and not have a boss screaming at you. Making your own priorities or stepping back a little on your own decision. Sounds great to me! :)

  4. Jen

    September 28, 2006 12:04 pm

    It is nice to be able to make the decisions myself.. but to be honest, I think it comes with it’s own set of stresses. It’s very easy to slip into a ‘workaholic’ mode where I’m checking my email constantly, even through dinner (which has happened, shamefully enough!) But it’s also easy to slack off and keep pushing things back. Because I’m ‘in charge’, there’s a lot of pressure to keep working, keep doing… and since ‘home’ is also ‘work’, the lines get a little blurred and ‘leaving it at the office’ gets more difficult.

    But I think we’ll just have to wing it and see how things go. For the next several months at least, I’m working as normal. Once the baby comes, we’ll go from there :)

  5. hoya_saxa08

    September 28, 2006 4:47 pm

    You’re allowed to be stressed, definitely! I think you’re in your “adjustment” period of getting used to the home business. You have always been really hard working, so I think you’ll be able to handle everything much better than most people. :)

    And.. that’s so awesome about your dad! My dad is a smoker, too, so I can only pray for him to announce something like that.

  6. Jen

    September 28, 2006 5:04 pm

    I think the verdict is basically, trying to do both is HARD. Heck, even trying to do one at a time is hard! hehe In my mind, I just cannot imagine how it will be… and I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be?

    90% of all my freaking out lately is totally hormonal, I know. heh Gotta love it!

  7. Claire

    October 3, 2006 6:51 pm

    Hi Jen, I have been reading your site for many years now, in fact, since muted first started! First, I am so happy for you and Dan that you are pregnant! Congrats! Also, you will almost certainly find a balance between work and child. Of course, it will be hard – having a baby is the biggest thing in your life… ever! I don’t suppose that it is anything to be afraid of, it is a wonderful thing. At least, you have the beauty of working for yourself so you can work the “turd” and work around each other. Although it is easier said than done you just haven’t got to worry about these things, worry only makes it seem harder than it actually is! Believe me, I recently quit my job because I decided to go back to college. I was so worried about how we were going to pay the bills, how we were going to maintain our standard of living, how I was going to get back into the whole school type thing, how it was just generally going to work. Of course, I am only in my third week at college right now, and only quit work five weeks ago – but we are doing fine. I am so much happier, I feel less stressed. Having said that though I know EXACTLY how you feel about housework and shopping… mine has totally gone to pot!!

    I am so glad your Dad has decided to give up the evil weed, in four duty free mexican packets time, I will be following suit! I have my nicotine patches lined up in the drawer already… its gonna be tough but it’ll certainly be worth it!

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