looking ahead

It’s been a while since I posted a decent entry that wasn’t a meme or an Italy recap. I’ve been so busy the past few weeks, spending most of my free time (HA! I laugh at that term ‘free time’ because it’s SUCH A LOAD OF CRAP) working on various stages of redeveloping my business site. Basically, once I get that up and going, my plan is to do some advertising locally, and hopefully drive in some more jobs. And then… THEN.. I might just be quitting my job.


I keep going back and forth about this, because I tend to freak out about money way more than I should. I know we will be totally fine and won’t be in danger of getting behind on bills or anything.. but giving up the comfort of my steady paycheck every month and essentially cutting our income into 2/3 of what it was (Dan makes twice as much as me, yeah I SUCK) is scary scary scary. But if I can at least bring in half of what I make at my job with my freelance work, then we’ll be peachy keen and probably won’t notice much. But as I said- I freak out. A LOT. Especially every 2 weeks or so when I do the bills. After living blissfully for those 2 weeks thinking I’m almost to the point where I can quit, I sit down to pay the bills and suddenly start thinking There is no way in hell we can do this. What if the car breaks down? What if the roof falls in? What if the sky falls? And then things get pushed back even further.

I have about a million ideas for different things I’d like to do with my freelance work, but I barely have enough time to keep up with the work I have now, let alone brainstorm, advertise, and implement all the ideas floating around in my head. So having the free time during the day to do that would be fantastic, and I know in the long run it would be a positive thing. It’s just taking the big step that’s scary.

There is of course another reason in the near future that I’d be quitting my job, and that’s if we have a baby. Our plan all along has been for me to stay at home. Partly because I just want to, partly because I know I would be Mrs. Bitchy Mom if I had to work a full-time job and do the mom thing, and partly because day care is INSANE and it would hardly be worth it for a few hundred bucks I’d be left with at the end of the month. As far as when I would quit… hm. I’ve gone back and forth on this as well (I have trouble making decisions, apparently!) thinking that I’d work until the baby is born, then I think no, I’ll quit right away so I can enjoy the time I have off. Then I think dude, we totally will need the money for baby stuff, just go to work as long as possible. But then I think about dragging my fat butt into work every day, and THEN coming home and having to keep up the freelance schedule I’ve been doing lately… and there is no way I could do it. I’d be exhausted and I just don’t think it would be a good idea. So we’ll have to just play that one by ear and go with my gut when the time comes.

(Now, I’m not pregnant yet so don’t go getting all exciting or anything! That’s not to say we haven’t been less than careful lately though ;) heh)

Dan is also kind of in a job-limbo thing, waiting to hear about a few different things from where he works now and also some new opportunities. So up and quitting my job is doubly scary, knowing that his situation might not be as stable as we once thought.

We’ll see what happens. All I know is that these next few months are going to be very interesting and things could be changing a lot. So if I start to flake out on here, you know why :) Just bear with me!

1 Comment

  1. melissa

    June 19, 2006 5:50 pm

    Yep, I’m getting my last paycheck this week, and I can definitely vouch for that oh-my-God-what-have-I-done feeling! We won’t have extra money for a while, but it’s worth it to spend more time with my baby. Things do happen (like our recent roof/ceiling water damage)… you just deal with it. And even if we knew before I got pregnant that we’d have unforseen expenses and money would be tight, we’d still have wanted to have a baby, and to have him at this time. There will always be worries, but I’d rather have worries than regrets!

    Your good decisions have gotten you this far and they will get you through whatever comes next. Do what you know will be best for you and your family. Everything else will work out. And yay!!! for the less-than-carefulness! Good luck! :)

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