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let’s all gather for story time, shall we?

Instead of blogging about the fact that I cried on my way home from work yesterday, and instead of blogging about how I am in dire need of a break from EVERYTHING and it’s a damn good thing I leave for Rome in 3 days, and instead of blogging about how I feel like the world is crashing in on me and I just can’t do it anymore… instead of all of that, I am going to tell you a story about a screw.

I wear glasses, or I should say, I need glasses. I mostly wear my contacts and usually only wear my glasses when I’m at home. Because of this, I rarely invest much money into buying new frames or lenses on a regular basis. So my current pair of glasses are speckled with white paint from last summer’s deck painting with an electric sprayer, even though I tried to get most of it off. They also have a decent scratch on the right lens, going from by my nose about 3/4 of the way across. And recently, about 2 months ago, the teeny-tiny screw that holds the right nose pad in place came loose.

The first time it happened, it was sitting neatly under my glasses when I picked them up from my nightstand. Bummer, I thought. But at least I didn’t lose the screw! I got out my little repair kit and put the screw back in… but then realized that it was pretty much completely stripped so it probably wasn’t going to stay in place for very long. I’d have to be careful.

And I was… for like an hour. A few days later, I was putting my glasses on after work and I wiped the lenses with my tshirt (yeah I know you’re not supposed to do that, thanks) and I heard a little ‘TINK!’ I looked and the screw was missing… the ‘TINK!’ I heard must have been the screw hitting the floor. CRAP. I immediately got down on my hands and knees and searched the floor. Within about 10 seconds, I found it. What luck! That’s twice now I could have lost it, and it’s so small, what are the odds of finding it again? I was amazed at my good fortune.

The details of the next few incidents are fuzzy, but I remember one time I didn’t notice that the screw was missing for several hours after putting my glasses on, and I thought for sure it was gone forever. But when I was moving something on the bathroom shelf (where I must have had my glasses overnight), there in the corner was the little metal screw. WOW. Again, the incredible odds, especially with 2 cats who get into everything and wreak havoc wherever they go. And there were numerous times (4? or 5?) where I knocked the screw onto the floor while wiping the lenses (with my shirt, yes of course) but found it again almost immediately.

Now, most people would get their butts to either an eyeglass shop or at least the drug store and pick up a new eyeglass repair kit that has a variety of screws in it, hoping to find one that will fit and not fall out every other day. But no, not me. I am lazy about that kind of stuff for one thing, and I just kept forgetting to do it. Especially since I don’t wear them every day until I get home and then I’m like ‘Oh yeah, I forgot about this problem… hm. Oh well.‘ And given all the other problems with my glasses (the speckled paint, the scratch on the lens) I figured that this summer I’d break down and buy a new pair.. eventually.

This story is not over.

This weekend, I put my glasses on again and noticed the screw missing. It wasn’t laying where I had just picked them up (on my nightstand) and it wasn’t on the bathroom shelf. I did a quick scan of the bedroom floor and even the hallway right outside our bedroom door, which had given great results in the past! But this time.. nothing. It had finally happened: the screw was gone. BUMMER. But at least I had a good run, right? Dan and I laughed about how it had finally come to an end and now I was going to have to drag my butt to the eye doctor and get new glasses.

When I got home from work yesterday, Dan was on the couch working on the laptop. He called me over after I got settled in, and lifted up his hand. In his palm was.. you guessed it… THE SCREW.

Wanna know where it was? DO YOU WANNA KNOW?

He was typing away on the keyboard, and when he typed a sentence (or in his case, a line of nerd-code) that had a ‘B’ in it, the ‘B’ wasn’t showing up. hm, he thought, must have made a typo. He tried to add the ‘B’, but it wouldn’t appear. HUH? He tilted the keyboard a bit to see if there was something under the key… and he saw something small, metal, and shiny. LIKE A SCREW. He dug it out and sure enough, it was my eyeglass screw.

Excuse me while I freak out at the freakyness of this all. FREAK!!!!!

So yeah. Apparently this screw loves me and was like my best friend in a past life or something. But at least now I can procrastinate some more about getting new glasses!

11 Comments

  1. Priscilla

    Okay, your glasses really love you and they do not want to be replaced. Keep those glasses!! And get a repair kit with some screws for goodness sake!! :)

    May 10 11:41 am


  2. I’m laughing. What a great story.

    Nothing like a well-needed break. I hope it’s a wonderful trip.

    May 10 12:08 pm


  3. Whoa, that’s really funny =p

    May 10 12:57 pm


  4. Jen

    Prissy-
    heehee yeah I’m terrible… I’ve been so scattered lately, I can’t even remember to get anything at the store that we need let alone an new repair kit! I’m hoping I can find my brain while we’re in Italy…

    May 10 1:03 pm


  5. Sunshine

    That’s crazy about your glasses. I just finally got my husband to the eye doctor to renew all his eye-related paraphernalia.

    Looking forward to hearing all about Italy!

    May 10 1:06 pm


  6. oh my gosh, that’s hilarious. I’ve had that happen to me before. I kept losing the little cap from the drawstring of the hood on a jumper because I chewed on it, and thinking ‘oh well it was a fun chewing it while it lasted’ and it kept turning up.

    Just get some new glasses, Jen!

    May 10 4:45 pm


  7. Judi

    Do you notice there’s NOTHING between April 28 and May 10?!? I was going through withdrawal! Oh how will I stand it while you’re having the time of your life in Italy?

    May 10 6:40 pm


  8. you should frame that screw.

    May 11 10:12 am


  9. Corrie
    @iheartsnark

    I agree with Judi, no Jen is boring! Have fun in Rome. I am so jealous!

    May 11 4:58 pm


  10. Mel
    @overdramaticmel

    I hope everything is going ok and that you didn’t cry anymore the last couple of days!

    May 12 8:00 pm


  11. Pei

    WHOA! aren’t YOU a lucky girl!!! i hope you’re enjoying your vacation, u lucky thing :)

    May 15 2:00 am