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since he’s not here, I can at least tell stories about him.

August 16th, 2005 @ 2:55 pm | Comments
Filed Under: marriage

In my fit of feeling sorry for myself the other day for Dan leaving me all alone this week, I completely forgot 2 funny stories about my dear husband.

The first is from Friday night. We went to my sister’s in-law’s (wow that sounds weird) and Dan had quite a bit of beer to drink. By the time we got home, he was pretty drunk and crashed into bed before I did. When I climbed in bed a little while later, he woke up a little bit and handed me his glasses. I took them and put them on the night stand like I always do. I snuggled down in the covers, and then saw his hand in front of my face again, like he was holding something. I said ‘What?’ and reached toward his hand, thinking there was something little he needed to give me. He looked right at me, pulled his hands back towards his face like he was taking his glasses off again (even though now they were sitting next to me on the table) and handed these imaginary glasses to me. At this point I realized he was completely dilirious/drunk/sleeping and had no idea what he was doing. I said ‘You already gave me your glasses!’ and he made a sad face and rolled back over and went to sleep.

What a weirdo.

The other thing is from Saturday, while we were painting the part of the lattice on our deck that was too close to the house to do with the sprayer. After about 30 minutes of painting and getting NOWHERE, he proclaimed: ‘Whoever put this lattice up needs to be raped by 1,000 cows. No wait- bulls. Big ones.’

He’s all mine, ladies. Eat your hearts out.

comments

1. Leslie
   August 16th, 2005 @ 11:59 pm

   My boyfriend one night was drunk and I whispered good night and he opened his eyes and made a weird face and ripped off his glasses like they were attacking him and he’s like “uh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and I’m like, “you’re getting attacked by your glasses. run.” boys are funny.