weekly winners, volume 45: Snowmageddon! Edition


SNOW! SNOW! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Weekly Winners @ Sarcastic Mom

up to her waist
Snowmageddon!

perspective
perspective

HALP!
HALP!

long hike
long hike

footprints
Snowmageddon!

deep
Snowmageddon!

frosty morning
frosty morning

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insanity, round two


I feel like such a HUGE! ANNOUNCEMENT! should have some big build-up, some sentimental prose, rambling on and on to give the event the treatment it deserves. But alas, I’m also EXHAUSTED BEYOND ALL COMPREHENSION, and a little queasy, and the energy it would take to compose such a paragraph would probably KILL ME. So I’m just gonna say it:

I’m pregnant!

So. There ya go! A bit anticlimactic but maybe it’s just me becausezzzzzzzzz…

Baby #2 should be arriving sometime in late September, which puts me at around 6 weeks at the moment. Yeah, I know it’s early and most people wait to share the new with the World, but I can’t keep a secret, you guys. I’ve been keeping this in for 2 weeks and I can’t TAKE IT ANYMORE! (I suck at keeping my own secrets.) I went to the doctor this morning, everything looks good so far. We’ll get to hear the woosh-woosh of the little bun’s heartbeat in a few more weeks.

Even with all the nausea and mind-numbing tiredness, we are obviously beyond thrilled. And seeing my daughter talk to my belly (“HI SISTER!” or “HI BRUDDER!”) is pretty much the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

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weekly winners, volume 44


Weekly Winners @ Sarcastic Mom

coloring
coloring

birthday girl
birthday girl

twirling
twirling

cake
cake

NOM
NOM

lipstick? or icing?
lipstick? or icing?

rockin’ out
rockin' out

butterfly
butterfly

fancy
fancy

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funny girl


Maggie has been obsessed with looking at pictures of herself as a baby lately. Whenever I have the computer open on my lap, she climbs up next to me and says “I wanna see baby pitch-urs!”

So naturally, because she’s so darn cute, I obliged.

While navigating my Flickr stream, we came across a video of her from when she was about 12 months old. And apparently, it’s the funniest thing ever committed to video.

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snuggle


After a relatively quiet (albeit pee-filled) day yesterday, this morning was All Drama.

Maggie wanted to wear a dress to school. There were no clean dresses to wear.

She didn’t want to brush her teeth.

She dropped her pink step-stool on her foot. The band-aid I got for her (invisible) boo-boo didn’t have the right princesses on it.

She didn’t want to put her socks on. She COULDN’T put her shoes on (she totally can).

She dilly-dallied about doing EVERYTHING and we were running late.

Finally I got her to school and me off to work but it was a rough morning.

Then, after our dinner with Daddy at Applebees after work and school, we came home and she asked sweetly to watch A Bug’s Life. I turned it on, and I sat on the couch next to her.

After a few minutes, she climbed over to me and laid her head on my shoulder. Then she climbed even closer and laid her head on my lap. She stayed there for at least 20 minutes.

watching you watch me

I guess she can stay.

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one step forward, two steps back. into a puddle of pee.


So this whole potty training thing with toddlers is a real adventure, isn’t it?

We first introduced Maggie to the potty, like, a YEAR ago. And she peed in it. Once. Then that was it for while. I was okay with that because she wasn’t even 2 years old yet. Occasionally throughout the summer, we would ask her if she wanted to sit on the potty and if she agreed, we were happy. If she peed, we were even more happy! We’d do a potty dance, reward her with M&Ms or Smarties or whatever, and it was all great fun.

Then for a few weeks, she was totally NOT into it, so we eased up. Then she’d be cooperative with it for a week or so, then she wanted to have nothing to do with it. Then cooperative, then not so much again.

It was a cycle. A routine. I LIKE ROUTINES!

Then we decided to get Serious about it. We tried a sticker chart for prizes. FAIL. She simply says ‘Nope, I don’t want a sticker!’ and that’s that.(Question: How do you bargain with a child who is ONTO YOUR TRICKS?? Answer: YOU DON’T.)

We tried training pants. She uses them just like a diaper. The kid just does NOT care if she’s sitting in her own pee or poop all day. Even if it turns cold like the training pants say it does. We tried candy again. We tried reverse psychology (“You’re not ALLOWED to use the potty!”)

I even tried putting her in underpants one day when I knew we’d be home to deal with accidents. I told her “Come on, let’s go sit on the potty! You have to sit on the potty if you’re wearing underpants!” She stood up, took off the underwear, handed them to me and said “I wanna diaper.”

So! We’ve tried it all. Seriously. She knows the routine, she CAN go pee on the potty if she wants to (poop is another story, but I’m not too concerned with that just yet). She just simply does NOT WANT TO. (And given the fact that recently she gave up her pacifier AND her crib all in one week, I’m willing to give her a little slack on the potty training thing. I mean, the kid needs to control SOMETHING in her life, you know?)

Today was another rare time when we were going to be home all day. No errands to run, no work to do, just us hanging out in our pajamas.

And our Elmo underpants. (Well, just Maggie.) (And that was only after she pooped this morning. I’m not STUPID.)

She did great. For nearly 2 hours, she had on her underpants and had zero accidents. She even peed on the potty THREE TIMES. Hooray!

Then it was naptime, so I convinced her to let me put Princess Pants on her (Pull-ups. With princesses on them, in case that wasn’t obvious.) I told her after her nap, she could put her underpants back on because she kept them clean! and dry! She was excited. We read a book, I tucked her in, and headed downstairs.

After about 10 minutes or so, I heard her walking around her room (still working on the Staying In Bed Thing) so I went and poked my head in the door. I noticed a pink Pull-up laying by her bed, and she was standing in the middle of the floor, staring at me.

“Pull your dress up, please”, I said.

She stared at me. Didn’t move.

I asked again. “Pull your dress up.”

She slowly reached her hand down and pulled up her dress to reveal… Elmo underpants. That I had put on top of her dresser where, HEY! Apparently she can reach now!

Not only was she wearing underpants that she stole from their hiding spot until after her nap, THEY HAD PEE IN THEM. And also a huge puddle on the (wood) floor over by the window.

This potty training thing is AWESOME, you guys.

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favortweets! round #15


It’s that time again! Time to giggle and snort and laugh out loud.

undomesticdiva (blog) ME: Is now a good time to tell you I bought our son a guinea pig for xmas? HUSBAND: No. ME: Ok. How’s your day going? 1:20 PM Dec 16th, 2009

CranberryPerson GAMBLING TIP: If you pick Texas in your office pool, do NOT draw a little longhorn because it WILL look like a jockstrap and/or uterus. 1:31 PM Dec 18th, 2009

samanthajcampen (blog) I really REALLY need to exercise. Feeling slothful. Will someone come over here and chase me with a knife? 4:17 PM Dec 18th, 2009

jonniker (blog) Adam & I both *swear* that Samantha said “doggie” in reference to Sunny. And then our 9-month-old prodigy slapped herself in the face. 5:14 PM Dec 19th, 2009

CranberryPerson Missed out on a kids’ birthday party and family Christmas shopping today. PRETENDING TO BE SICK IS AWESOME YOU GUYS. 9:37 PM Dec 19th, 2009

ModernMatriarch (blog) Does anyone know if the ER can surgically remove a remote-controlled helicopter from a grown man’s ass after his wife shoves it there? 9:43 PM Dec 21st, 2009

thatnight (blog) Arguing whether Harry Potter or Twilight is better-written is like a feud between human beings and those mops from the Swiffer commercials. 5:18 PM Jan 2nd

notthatyouasked (blog) I just ripped a fart while rocking the baby and the monitor is on downstairs where Asher is playing with… MY MOTHER- IN-LAW. 7:24 PM Jan 5th

Sundry (blog) When your wife finishes school registration and jokes “Does this look like the ass of a college girl?” correct answer is NOT “Freshman 15″ 1:42 PM Jan 6th

woycheck (blog) TRAFFIPOCALYPSE 4:49 PM Jan 7th

ModernMatriarch (blog) If your PR email to me starts, “Dear Fellow Vegetarian” clearly you have me confused with someone who wouldn’t kill her own cow for a burger 8:32 AM Jan 8th

Sundry (blog) I’m going to put out a camera, Paranormal Activity-style, to catch the lone Legos furiously humping and birthing new blocks all night long. 11:50 PM Jan 8th

CranberryPerson Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind are memories of a time when a weekend’s success was not measured by how much ironing I got done. 5:29 PM Jan 10th

kerrianne (blog) I think allowing employees to periodically set Excel spreadsheets afire would really boost office morale. 8:04 PM Jan 13th

scarletfire (blog) I think those of us who have been through pregnancy/childbirth can agree that the worst thing about 8 days of coughing is not the coughing. 11:43 PM Jan 13th

samanthajcampen (blog) Thanks Mucinex. I’ve always wanted to know what it felt like to swallow a frisbee. 2:59 PM Jan 20th

SarcasticMomLC (blog) Look, if the whale is too heavy, we need to get some more damn birds to hold the blanket. 4:40 PM Jan 20th

unclecrappy (blog) Calling our site’s admin side its “back end” seems far too polite. “Asshole” seems much more appropriate. 11:41 PM Jan 24th

notthatyouasked (blog) I was only going to eat half a donut but I am an overachiever, I guess. 9:35 AM Jan 25th

LookyDaddy (blog) Google should have a flash screen: It appears your search terms are medical symptoms. Are you sure you wish to proceed? There is no undo. 1:40 PM Jan 25th

mooshinindy (blog) I’m going to start a support group. It will be called “moms who have to change sheets on bunk beds.” 2:47 PM Jan 25th

melissity (blog) Just remembered I left something at the hospital after having 2nd baby 12 weeks ago: MY SANITY. Think it’s too late to go back and find it? 6:30 PM Jan 25th

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