well, hello there!


So! What have you all been up to lately?… Oh, me? Well, let’s see…

1. TWELVE WEEKS! That’s how many weeks pregnant I am, as of today. And I’m happy to report that I’m starting to feel a bit more human. I’m still completely exhausted and need a lot of naps and occasionally get a bit queasy and have trouble eating. But mostly, I’ve figured out what works: scrambled eggs for breakfast (even though at first I was GAGGING at the thought, once I make them and eat them, I feel way better). An after-breakfast snack, usually cheese or yogurt. Sour candy. I’m usually feeling great at lunchtime, so I’m able to eat whatever I want. Dinner is my big question mark, some days I’m feeling pretty awful by late afternoon and the thought of eating anything makes me want to hurl. But, like I said, that seems to be getting gradually better.

The hilarious thing right now is, just as I’m starting to feel better and have a *little* bit more energy? I GOT A COLD. bwahahahahaha! Isn’t that awesome? I can thank my kid who likes to steal my chapstick for that one. (Thankfully, so far, it’s not a raging cold. Just enough that I spent most of yesterday on the couch.)

2. I’m no longer a single parent! For the past… 3 weeks or so, things around our house have been a little bit nuts. First of all- I am spoiled. I have a husband who is home every night by 5:30, 6:00 at the latest. And when he’s home, he is SUCH a huge help with Maggie and letting me take breaks to do fun things like clean the kitchen and fold laundry (I know. My life is SO GLAMOROUS!)

It all started when he traveled to Baltimore for a few days to visit his sick grandmother (and while he was gone, we got to take a trip to Urgent Care!) He got home from that trip on a Sunday night, only to leave the next morning for Florida for 4 days (and you all remember the fun I had that week!) Then he got home and we found out his grandmother passed away, so we quickly planned our trip down for the funeral (and Maggie stayed with my parents for 3 days) Got home from Baltimore that weekend, and he left again last Tuesday for the second work trip that was originally scheduled the week of the funeral. He got home Thursday night and let’s just say, I think we’re ALL happy Daddy’s home. (Though I will say, Maggie was MUCH better this week than the first week Dan was gone.)

If it hadn’t been during my first trimester, the whole Parenting Alone thing wouldn’t be a big deal, really. But the 9th and 10th week of my pregnancy were so far the worst, and HEY! Guess when it was that Dan was gone!? That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger…

3. Painting! We had painters come last Friday to finish up the project I started back in January. Normally I would just do it myself. I personally feel that painting while pregnant is fine- I did it while pregnant with Maggie- as long as the room is well-ventilated and I’m not up on a super-high ladder. Plus we’re using low-VOC paint so it’s not all stinky. But this part of the house includes a 2-story entry. So, we spent a few weeks getting estimates and got a great deal on the whole sha-bang. We are one step closer to getting rid of all the peachy-orange paint that’s all through the house.

(And no, I haven’t taken pictures yet. Still have a shelf to put back up.)

4. Nemo On Ice! You may have seen a few pictures in my last post of some crazy fish costumes and wondered what the heck that was all about. We bought tickets a few weeks ago and waited until Saturday morning to tell Maggie we were going (although I don’t think she really had a clue what we were talking about!) But she had a blast, and honestly I did too. It was so much fun watching her watch it- and she WATCHED it. We have never taken her to any kind of formal entertainment- not even a movie theater- so I really wasn’t sure how she’d react. She was sucked in right away and barely took her eyes off of the ice. I highly recommend it if they come to your city. Even Dan was giddy when the seagulls came out.

5. Work. Maggie’s birthday party planning. Naps. Laundry (sorta.) Work. Maybe another nap.

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weekly winners, volume 49


The “Oh Hey, That’s Right! I Have A Blog!” Edition.

Weekly Winners @ Sarcastic Mom

birthday boy
birthday boy!

her highness
her highness

buckle up
buckle up

Nemo On Ice!
Nemo On Ice

mesmerized
Nemo On Ice

dancing fishes
Nemo On Ice

jellyfish
Nemo On Ice

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large and in charge


So yeah. I KNOW I’ll be growing to levels I can’t even imagine now- possibly even more than with Maggie- but OMG YOU GUYS. I’m only ELEVEN WEEKS PREGNANT.

11 weeks.

Lord help us if there are two babies in there.

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favortweets! round #16


While I’m gone, entertain yourselves with the daily hilarity that is my Twitter friends feed. Seriously. You people are funny.

metalia (blog) I’m sure I’ve made worse decisions than feeding a toddler beets while wearing a white sweater, but right now, I can’t think of any. 6:49 PM Jan 26th

Greeblemonkey (blog) My child just told me I had morning breath. I reminded him about all those diapers I took care of for him. 9:52 AM Jan 28th

WhisperAmber (blog) I bet if Megan Fox asked Tom to take the trash can to the curb for trash pickup, he would remember to do it. 10:42 PM Jan 28th

Sundry (blog) Husband slept through 2 crying kids last night. Totally unrelated: Ex-Lax is pretty much undetectable when you mix it with someone’s coffee. 12:34 PM Jan 29th

ModernMatriarch (blog) 3-yo just stubbed her toe and yelled out “JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER WITH PEANUT BUTTER AND CRAP!” I died. 4:03 PM Feb 3rd

kirida (blog) Chivalry dead? Nah! Teen moved to another bus stop so I wouldn’t inhale the second-hand weed. A gentleman, indeed! 11:20 AM Feb 4th

foldinglaundry (blog) The family & I are about to do our wkly grocery shopping at Walmart on Superbowl Sunday which is basically the same as wishing we were dead. 1:21 PM Feb 7th

alimartell (blog) My hair looks ridiculously good today. I’m sure the people who work at Kroger, Walgreens, and Shell are going to appreciate its awesomeness. 9:41 AM Feb 9th

CranberryPerson When I write too fast, my “E” looks like a “G” making this assignment sheet where I marked several projects as “DONE” look pretty weird. 3:27 PM Feb 9th

mooselicious (blog) Why does my smoke alarm go off when I take a shower, but not when the burner under my tea kettle has SET FIRE TO MY CUTTING BOARD? 6:43 PM Feb 9th

jamesbainbridge I NEVER see happy people going to the gym in our building. Ever. Conversely, I DO see happy people going into McDonalds. Gyms are not happy. 12:14 PM Feb 12th

SarcasticMomLC (blog) Can’t decide whether I like or hate Google Buzz. I’m leaning towards amused tolerance w/ a dash of annoyance & a little bit of flatulance. 1:49 PM Feb 12th

SarahLena (blog) I swear, it will say “SHOULD’VE TAKEN MORE NAPS” on my death certificate. 4:20 PM Feb 13th

jonniker (blog) Caught a recent Madonna video this morning and she wasn’t wearing pants either. Madonna. You are FIFTY. NOW IS THE TIME FOR PANTS. 7:21 AM Feb 15th

Sundry (blog) Welp, I’ve signed Riley up for classes, so in case the haircut, SUV, and four-hook bra didn’t tip you off, I’m officially a soccer mom now. 11:29 AM Feb 18th

ModernMatriarch (blog) Apparently, “ISHIE KAKKA NOW” is Angry Toddlerese for “May I please have some goldfish crackers post haste?” 4:32 PM Feb 22nd

metalia (blog) I can think of no better way to work on the attribute of patience than to telephonically assist older family members place online orders. 9:01 PM Feb 22nd

CranberryPerson Giving my kid “A Wrinkle in Time.” This must be how my dad felt when giving me a football. Except I won’t tell my kid he reads like a girl. 2:12 PM Feb 24th

metalia (blog) Meteorologists, if you call a weather event a “snow hurricane,” I’m gonna be unable to refrain from making jokes about being rocked by it. 10:28 PM Feb 24th

mommywantsvodka (blog) Am in the mood for mischief and merry prankstering. Sadly, I will have to settle for a Hot Pocket. Life in the suburbs sucks. 6:09 PM Feb 25th

kdiddy (blog) I can’t wait until my kid is an adult so I can just say, “Yo, what the FUCK is your problem?” without it being, like, mean or whatever. 8:37 PM Feb 25th

Sundry (blog) If security asks why I have this small tupperware of peanut butter in my carryon I’m telling them it’s my lucky fecal sample. 3:28 PM Feb 26th

mamaspohr (blog) In seven days I’ll be six weeks post-op & I’ll have no excuse not to exercise. You know what that means: time to fake an injury! 9:02 PM Feb 26th

metalia (blog) I would like to invite all teenagers to my safe sex program, called “Watch Me Clean Up Baby Barf From Everything, Including–Yes–My Hair.” 9:46 AM Feb 28th

CranberryPerson Talking with the dad of a kid my son bit at daycare today. I think he was going to yell at me until he saw how powerful my jaws look. 6:25 PM Mar 1st

Sarcomical (blog) the Chilean earthquake knocked Earth off its axis enough to shorten a day by 1.26 microseconds. i knew i felt rushed yesterday. 2:37 PM Mar 2nd

ModernMatriarch (blog) You know what’s awesome? A cat that drools. He’s like a really hairy independent dog that shits in sand. 9:27 PM Mar 2nd

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change of plans


Last week I survived 6 days as a Single Parent with morning (oh who are we kidding? ALL DAY LONG) sickness. It was a very. long. week.

I have to stop here: SINGLE PARENTS? YOU ARE MY FREAKING HEROES. I just… I don’t know how you do it. You deserve a medal. And a super-long vacation. Alone. With umbrellas in your drinks.

Anyway, so this week was going to be another round of Single Parenting- shorter this time, just three days, a quick work-related trip. However, plans have changed. Instead, Dan and I will be traveling to Baltimore for a few days for his grandmother’s funeral, and Maggie will be spending the time with my parents.

Funerals for grandparents are always a strange experience. I mean- ANY funeral is sad, especially when it’s someone you knew well and loved. I remember when my own grandmother passed away right after we were married. It was very sad and hard to be there and of course I cried. But we were also celebrating her life- her long, family-filled life of 80+ years, with four kids and numerous grandchildren and even a few great-grandchildren. And in the case of Dan’s grandmother, it’s a similar sentiment, I think. She was a wonderful woman, funny and extremely intelligent (I believe she was a member of Mensa? Dan comes by his nerdiness honestly!) and until the last few months, she was very independent and lived a normal life. The cancer came on quickly and suddenly, and last weekend Dan and his dad went down to see her. A week later, she passed away.

So, that’s where we’ll be the next few days. (Robbers and bad people, please don’t break into our house. We have BIG SCARY DOGS! (or not.) AND A SECURITY SYSTEM! And stuff. Plus our neighbors are awesome and will see you and call the police.) I’ll be the one carrying around a giant bag of snacks everywhere I go. Because I can’t wander too far from my crackers and cheese. I don’t think Granny would mind.

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weekly winners, volume 48


Weekly Winners @ Sarcastic Mom

curly girlie
Daddy taking pictures of her curls

bathtime
bathtime

long hair
long hair

a repeat from earlier in the week, but it’s just. that. good.
OH THE HUMANITY.

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OH THE HUMANITY


Just in case Dan decides I’m being dramatic when he gets home from his trip this week and I tell him that Maggie was an absolute MONSTER, I have proof.

OH THE HUMANITY.

OH THE HUMANITY.

OH THE HUMANITY.

OH THE HUMANITY.

OH THE HUMANITY.

Keep in mind, this was AFTER a 30 minute scream-fest at the top of the stairs, during which she refused to walk down the steps on her own, claiming her ‘foot hurt’ even though she had been running around the house for hours, climbing up and down the steps with no problems. It was a battle of wills and I needed to win it. I refused to give in and that led to a massive tantrum (from her) and a timeout (for her). After lunch, she decided she needed another bandaid for her (microscopic) cut on her thumb, and then apparently it was crooked or I covered up Ariel’s shoes or something ABSOLUTELY UNFORGIVABLE LIKE THAT, and that gives you the above photos.

A few hours later, she fell asleep in her closet.

sleeping in her closet

So you know, maybe she was tired. Or just possessed by Satan.

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